Love Can Really Make a Guy Come Out Of His Shell: Bowser X Luigi

Struggling With Love and Italian

*Bowser POV*

Eli has been trying to help me find out what romantic type I am for days now. Can't she just give up on this bullshit already? "No, Bowser, I can't give up on this. If you would've just dropped your ' I'm better than you and you are not entitled to know my personal shit' guard, we might have been able to figure this out from the first fucking day! You're making this more difficult than it has to be." She acted out someone who's pride gets the best of them as she spoke. "I do not have that idea in my head! You're making that up just to justify you not being able to figure out I actually like to shower my partner in gifts and kisses and that the fastest way to my heart is my stomach!" I lashed out at her. Wait... oh no. I can't believe I just spilled that out to her!

"Finally, something I can work with! Why did I have to get you riled up for you to say something? It's pretty childish, if I were to say so myself. I know I do stuff like that every now and then, but still. Why do you try to act tough even when no one else is around you? It's okay to let your guard down on those who care about you and want to help you, it doesn't say you're weak. It just says that you needed help from other people to maintain your strength and not lose it so stupidly easily." Eli went from praising me for talking to her to trying to get me to continue opening up to her. I didn't want to, but if she can guarantee I will get a chance at a healthy love, I guess I'll have to open up. "Sorry for the outburst, Eli. I'm just not used to opening up to someone I just met." I tried to offend her, but she just chuckled. "I understand, Bowser. Also, if you want to get me pissed off, that's not exactly the way to go. It takes so much more than that to offend me." She laughed at me, and I decided to try to lighten up and laughed along with her. "So you're the soft bodyguard type of lover. And boy are you in luck with Luigi, because if there's anything I know about Italians it's that they love to cook. And Luigi is no exception to that, in fact I think he's the better cook between him and his brother. Hope it helps." Eli grinned yet again, almost like she was looking for something in my thoughts. But can Luigi really cook that good? I find it hard to believe. "Well it's true. I've been around the Mushroom Kingdom gaining some information on Luigi as well, and all the Toads love his cooking. They love his cooking more than Mario's, and they can tell the difference of who cooked the meal they had." Eli answered my thoughts. If it wasn't that she was currently trying to help me, I would have told her to stop reading my thoughts and invading my mental privacy.

I admit: I find it hard to express my thoughts to her sometimes. I mean, it's already difficult enough that I have to trust her to not kill me, add to it that she wants to help me with my love life. But she seems to mean well, so I guess her reading my thoughts is a good thing, apparently. I looked at Eli and she seemed to be on the verge of crying. "I can't believe you admitted your difficulty of expression to yourself. I'm so happyyyyyyyy!" She began squealing and fell on her back. "Ow." Did Eli seriously just say that to act hurt? Because there was not a single sign of pain in that 'ow' she said. "You know, for someone that can't express their feelings openly you can catch when someone is trying to trick you quite easily. Well, as long as you don't blind yourself to who is trying to trick you. No offense, Bowser." Eli put her hands up in a defensive manner. "Okay, tell me. Are you trying to help me get love or torture me with all my fucking failures? Be honest." I looked at her with smoke coming out of my nostrils. She looked like she was pretending to think before answering: "The first with part of the second. I'm trying to help you get love, but you need to see where you've been going wrong. If showing you where you've failed in the past is torture, well I'm sorry but that's how life is. And that's how things are going to be with this." Eli started with a mocking expression, but then the white part of her eyes turned pitch-black as she stared at me with an angry looking face. I was taken aback by this sudden look of hers. Wait, did part of her face open up??? She realized what I was seeing, and she changed to her looks from when I had met her in Peach's Castle. "Sorry about that, I didn't realize that you were seeing that side of me. I've had a few accidents in my time holding the Galaverse with my soul that I've lost parts of my old self and I adapted to the changes like a second nature. That was part of my Humatronic body. I use it quite often since it gives me the extra strength I sometimes need at times. Anyways, back to your love life! So, if I'm not severely mistaken, you like your boys pretty and submissive and capable of handling you and your never-ending appetite, right?" Eli's cheesy grin is getting annoying, but she means well so eh, whatever. "Yeah, I guess I do." I said. "Ooooo, well you certainly must know Luigi is a pretty big bottom, and I think I know the best way to surprise him.~" Eli cheesy grin turned into an evil grin. Oh boy, this better have been a good idea.

*2 Hours Later*

Okay, I have to admit: Eli is a never-ending box of surprises. She taught me the 'very little' that she knew of this language called Italian that apparently he speaks. If to her 'very little' means 'enough to get from one place to another, plus more', that is. Because she knew A LOT. "Adesso. Ciao, mi chiamo Eli! Come ti chiami?" Eli said in Italian. "Ciao, mi chiamo Bowser. Piaceri di conocerti." I tried to reply, and she sighed. "Its 'conoscerti' not 'conocerti'. Think 'share' when pronouncing 'conoscerti'. Let's try again. Ciao, mi chiamo Eli! Come ti chiami?" We've been trying to get that phrase for about half an hour, and I still can't get it right. "Ciao, mi chiamo Bowser. Piaceri di co-no-sher-ti." I tried to sound it out to get used to that weird ass word. "Better, now say it without sounding it out so obviously." She had a lot of patience, I found out. "Ciao, mi chiamo Bowser. Piacere di conoscerti." I finally said it correctly! "Ottimo lavoro, Bowser! It means 'great job' by the way." She had a genuine smile on her face. "Adesso, rivedendo quanto appreso. Ciao, mi chiamo Eli! Come ti chiami?" "Ciao, Eli. Mi chiamo Bowser. Piacere di conoscerti. Come stai oggi?" I added a few bits we had covered in some vocabulary she gave me about an hour ago. "Sto abbastanza bene, grazie. E tu, come stai oggi?" She was testing me again. "Così così. Sono stanco." I said. She threw her head laughing. "Tu sei stanco? Io no, anche se sono un po' annoiato." She did not explain those last words to me. "Sorry, the last sentence means 'I'm not, although I am a bit bored.' 'Annoiato' means 'bored'. 'Anche' can mean 'although' or 'too', depending on where it's placed. 'Un po' means 'a bit'. Hey, maybe one day you can tell him 'tu sei un simpatico idiota'. I know he'll blush at it." Eli is back to her little giggles. "What does that mean?" I asked. "It means 'You are a nice idiot'. Oh, and one last thing." She explained and then paused. "What is it?" I asked, hoping she'd continue. "There are two ways of saying 'I love you' in Italian. There's 'ti voglio bene' and 'ti amo'. They mean the same thing in English, but have different connotations in Italian. 'Ti voglio bene' is used with platonic and family love. 'Ti amo' is used with romantic love. You should start with 'ti voglio bene' first, as that will give you a more friendly look to him. It's best to start as friends, then move to romantic love. But look for the signs: he is very bad at hiding his emotions, if you haven't figured that out already. His true emotions will almost always show in his face. So look for that, alright?" Eli told me, and I'm so glad she told me this because I had found an English-Italian dictionary that had in here and was close to saying 'ti amo' the first chance I could get before knowing this. And it seems she knew. "Alright. Thank you. For everything." I told her. She smiled, and she opened a sort of portal to- MY CASTLE!?! "It's best you go back to your people. They are in a dire need of your ruling power. But don't worry, I'll pass by as a red shelled Koopa with gloves like the ones I'm wearing right now. Now go, out of my garden!" She shooed me to the portal laughing, I couldn't help but laugh. It seems my laugh caught Kamek's attention. "SIRE! You're alright!" Kamek flew on his little broomstick to me. "Yeah I'm alright. It took her a while to find me and get me out safely. But I'm glad I'm out of that castle. TOO-" "Much pink? Yeah, I know. I almost couldn't handle that shade of pink that was pretty much ALL OVER THE DAMN CASTLE. Uggggghhhhhh!" Eli interrupted me and groaned very loudly. "Well, you should get going. I'll see you again soon, Bowser!" Eli pushed me and Kamek out of the garden through the portal. "Arrivederci!" I said to her, and she giggled. "Arrivederci idiota. Ci vediamo presto!" She laughed as she closed the portal, but not before throwing me the dictionary I had found. She actually knew...

*Italian/English Translations*

Adesso : now

Ciao, mi chiamo Eli! Come ti chiami? : Hi, mi name's Eli! What's your name?
Piacere di conoscerti: nice to meet you/ a pleasure to meet you
rivedendo quanto appreso : going over what you learned
Come stai oggi? : how are you today?
Sto abbastanza bene : I'm pretty good
Grazie : thank you/ thanks
E tu : and you
Così così. : so-so
Ottimo lavoro: great job

Sono stanco : I'm tired
Tu sei stanco? : you're tired?
Io no, anche se sono un po' annoiato: I'm not, although I am a bit bored
Idiota: idiot
Ti voglio bene: I love you (platonic and family love)
Ti amo : I love you (romantic love)
Arrivederci! : Goodbye!
Ci vediamo presto! : I'll see you soon