Crazy Twist And Turns

chapter nueve

Nate's pov

Amy was kissing down my neck while I was holding onto her waist giving her support.she started to go down kissing me everywhere.she then reached the hem of my jeans and started to unbuckle my belt.

"Amy please not now I'm not really in the mood" i tell her buckling back my belt. She  sighed disappointed. "But I am,I've been in the mood for so long but you always have an excuse". She whined. She moves closer to me and held both my hands in hers .we were currently in my room sitting on my bed. Both my parents were not home so I had invited Amy.

"Nate tell me what's wrong, are you....",she hesitated before she asked "Nate are you gay?".

"What? Just because I say I'm not in the mood means that I'm gay. What the fuck Amy!!".I moved away from her and stood up. She stood up after me and walked over to me looking straight in my eyes. "Nate you still haven't answered my.i scoffed avoiding her gaze and walked over to my bed. She followed me.

"i...i".i try to find the right words.

"Nate?"

"I'm not okay, im not I swr" i tell her. She sighed in relief. "See that wasn't so hard, you could have just said no all along".she said with a faint smile. she intertwined our hands and layed her head on my shoulder. We both fell silent.

I begin to remember the kiss me and Joshua shared on that night of my party. how his lips felt, how they were so soft same with his hair how it felt in my fingers. And his scent, he smelt so nice.

The sudden urge kissing him again overpowered me. Why am I thinking of this when I'm with my girlfriend.

I've come to the conclusion that I don't love her anymore well I mean not as much as I did when we started dating. She is so pretty and nice and this may sound cringe but she isn't like other girls.

The thing is that there is no spark between us anymore. my feelings for her many months ago are different from now.

I don't know what I want, all I know is that I'm not happy in this relationship and I may or may not have feelings for Joshua who my fucking best friend likes.

This is so fucked up

And I know with the way I've been treating Joshua he would never date me I mean who can blame him I have a girlfriend God danm it!! and the worst part is that I told Michael to ask him out.

I turned to look at Amy who was now laying on my bed scrolling through her phone. She looked so peaceful and innocent and I hate doing this to her she's the best and she deserves someone and so much better.

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