Mist of invention

Part eleven

I could not sleep that night as I thought of what had happened. Rain fell. Clattering against the windowsill I looked at the endless rows of apple trees outside my window.

Lisa still followed me in my dreams. Never letting me get a minute alone. In anger I pulled the drapes off their hinges. The iron rod connecting them to the ceiling fell with it.

I can still picture everyone - meeting in front of the very gates that hold others from the estate I now reside in, planning to one day show the entire world we could do it... I could do it.

I want to yell - scream - let everything out, but I cannot. No one may ever know what happened. Lisa gave her life for it to be so, and if I must do anything it is to respect her last wish. Until I see her again, that is. Until I can see everyone again.

I send Aileen away when she storms through the door, asking what happened.

"But Madam-"

"Go!" I say, feeling the fire burn in my chest. "You've caused enough harm already."

"Harm?" Aileen takes a step back. "Ma'am, I was merely-"

"Do your ears not work properly? I said get out."

"Yes," she whispered. "Of course."

And the door shut again. I waited for the sound of her footsteps to recede before I let myself fall to the ground. Putting my arms around my legs.

It was better this way. I am not the person she thinks I am, anyways.