The neon lights in Tokyo are pretty popular, edgy and cool, but my, oh my, Macau is special.
I chose to go to Macau not only because of the portuguese language, but also because of the beautiful neon lights.
My visiting is not for a good reason, though.
I was going to settle things up with my partner... A man that I used to love and cherish. Simu... Why did you do this to me?
He is from Harbin, a city by the north of China. I am from São Paulo, at the southeast of Brazil. We both met in San Francisco in October 2021. We had a thing, not once, nor twice - we actually got along... Raised a dog and started thinking about kids.
But... Sometimes, life is unfair... He came back to China to...
What a God damned liar...!
All this time he was on a relationship... With a woman from Harbin. I saw his DMs, the text messages, lots of SMS with financial transactions... With this woman. And I am devastated.
I wasn't expecting to visit Macau for such thing, but at least I am having lots of fun at the city... I could even see the ruins from the Cathedral of São Paulo there. Looks familiar to me and I felt home.
My phone started to ring while I was taking some pictures from the city.
- Hello?
- Fer... It's me.
- Simu Liu... You son of a bitch.
- I understand why you are mad at me... And we will settle things up when I arrive in Macau, okay?
- What time? Look, I'm in the middle of the streets, I need to hang up right away!
- The flight arrives at 4am.
- Where are you now?
- In Harbin.
- Your wife is from your homeland?
- She's... Yes. But... You know I love you...
- I gotta go, Simu. Pick you at the airport tonight.
I hung up my phone with my eyes covered in tears... He will not ruin my day.
When he was with me, I had the best time of my life. We met in Santa Clara, on a sports event. The city is not far from SanFran, but I remember that he needed help to get back to Chinatown and I gave him a ride back home. His smile caught me wide open - he always had something to talk about, and everything he does, he does great.
Simu plays basketball, dance, play guitar and piano, sing and also knows some martial arts.
And it's not all that he can do great... He knows how to please a woman...
But he's also a good liar. When he moved to my apartment, Simu told me that his dad was coming to live in San Francisco to take care of a "rare disease". I don't get it, since they were in Toronto!
He always had to visit "him" during the week. And it's fine, I'd understand... If he wasn't using his apartment to put his chinese wife there. What the actual fuck? He spent almost six months on it, being with me and with her at the same time... Simu never told me about his past relationship or whatever... It was worse than I could imagine.
He promised me that he would bring her back to Harbin and split on papers... That's why he's here for. At least that's what he told me.
I don't know how it works in China but it might be harder than I can imagine.
Anyway, I need to meet him at the airport. He will be here at 4am. I have no idea how to get there, since I came from Hong Kong. But I will figure out, someone who speaks portuguese will help me... I guess.
I spent my night visiting the casino area, not gambling but only looking at the beautiful lights there. I saw lots of teenagers dancing at the park, with some elders looking and applauding... The weather was nice, it wasn't hot, but I don't feel any cold either.
It was a good night to wear my mustard dress with some sneakers. Used it with jeans and yeah, that is Simu's favorite dress on me.
I wish I could go to the hotel and sleep. But the anxiety was hitting me so hard that I couldn't go. Entered at the first McDonald's I saw to grab something to eat, and had to ask for a cab (which was using the portuguese word for it, "táxi" in some cars) to get to the airport. For my luck, the driver knew portuguese. It was great to listen to my native language, even in a different accent.
- Ma'am, my portuguese is weird... If I fail on some words please forgive this old man - he smiled.
- It's okay... I can understand!
- You look scared, ma'am.
- I... I am. I will wait for someone at the airport.
- It must be a lucky person...
- Thanks... It's my ex-boyfriend.
- Oh, why are you going to meet him there? It's not worth of your time...
- Actually we need to talk. He's chinese, and he knows better the city...
- Do you have feelings for him?
- I don't know... I love him. But... He lied to me.
- That's bad... I hope you two get along.
The silence remained during the rest of the way. All I could hear is the music playing on the radio, some music in Mandarin.
When I arrived at the airport, the taxi driver told me to wait inside the terminal of national flights. Simu sent me the flight number, so I could locate where he would arrive.
