Daughter of Starlight

Chapter Twenty One: Pride

We were among the last people to reach the lakeshore. The only thing I could hear was the grief-stricken cries of the townspeople. There were villagers either on land sobbing over their dead or in the shallow waters doing the same. As soon as we had climbed out, Tauriel and I followed Sigrid and Tilda through the crowd of people in their search for their father.

"Da!" they screamed, looking everywhere for Bard. I could barely stand the fright on Tilda's face, fright that her father and brother were dead.

"Laerornien!" Fili called to me. I looked back at the water's edge and saw that he, Bofur and Oin had found a boat that someone had abandoned. It was big and sturdy enough to get us to the mountain.

Of course, how could I have forgotten? Kili was healing fast, and it was time for us to leave.

I looked to Tauriel, who clearly understood.

"I'll stay with the girls," she assured me, and I trusted her.

"Are you leaving us?" Tilda asked me, her eyes wide. She obviously didn't want me to leave.

I gave her a sad smile and crouched down to meet her gaze. I took her small hands in mine as I said, "I am, but I promise you'll be safe with Tauriel. She's one of my best friends. You can trust her. She'll help you find your father," I told her. She nodded, still unhappy that I had to leave, but she understood.

I gave her hands a small reassuring squeeze before going over to the boat to help push it into the water. I noticed Kili had broken away from the group and was talking to Tauriel when Fili said, "Kili, come on. We're leaving."

I heard the tail end of Kili's and Tauriel's conversation as I listened curiously.

"Amrâlimê," he said softly, and Tauriel's eyes widened. She knew dwarfish better than me, but even I knew that translation.

Even so, Tauriel tried to deny it, saying, "I don't know what that means."

Kili smiled at her. "I think you do."

I was content to let the two have their moment, but some people weren't, like my brother.

Legolas had stepped up behind Tauriel. The jealous look on his face was obvious to me, but it could have easily been mistaken as cold or even expressionless to those who didn't recognize it.

Tauriel had been about to say something to Kili, but her back straightened at the look I was giving her, warning her who was behind her.

"My Lord Legolas," she acknowledged him.

"Take your leave of the dwarf," Legolas said.

Tauriel hesitated, and Legolas saw it, saying, "You are needed elsewhere."

Kili gave Legolas a grudging look, heading back towards the boat, where we were all waiting. Then he stopped and went back, putting something in Tauriel's hand before saying, "Keep it. As a promise." He then rejoined us.

Legolas met my gaze. The same beckoning that he'd given Tauriel was in his eyes, but I silently shook my head. He began to look exasperated, and I sighed.

"Fili, wait another moment," I said, already taking steps towards my brother.

"Laerornien---"

"One more moment," I pleaded. He seemed to sigh and nodded as they steadied the boat to keep it from floating away.

"Don't leave with them." Legolas's words were not a plea. They were imperative, almost like he was commanding me. Something about that angered me and fueled my firm response.

"I have to," I said. "I know you want me to go back with you, but I just can't."

"Why?"

"You know perfectly well why." I was assuming he had gotten the whole story by now. From his look, I was right.

"Our father has realized his mistake---"

"Don't you ever lie to me," I bit out, cutting his response short. I had known what he had been about to say was a lie as soon as the first word passed his lips. "He will never let this go. His pride is too great."

"As is yours," Legolas countered.

"What are you saying?" I demanded, offended to have been compared to Thranduil.

"You are refusing to just come home and apologize," Legolas said.

"I'm not going to stoop to the level of apologizing to him."

"And yet you would go to such great lengths to return those gems to him."

"That's not the point---"

"It is the point, Laerornien!" Legolas's sudden outburst startled me, but my resolve didn't waver. "Why are you letting him dictate your life?"

"Because he can," I said, hardly believing that he couldn't see that. "He is the king, Legolas, and whether I am his daughter or not, I am still one of his subjects. I must obey my king's command."

"You know he didn't mean it," Legolas insisted, and I bit my tongue to restrain a fiery retort, trying to reign in my anger. I shouldn't be mad at him. He was not the one who deserved my fury, but I couldn't stand to hear him talk about this as if it were a simple matter of apologies. I had been banished, and the only way that was ever going to change was if I got the gems back. I couldn't stop now, not when I was so close.

"Laerornien!" Fili called, reminding me how much the dwarves wanted to leave. I sighed in annoyance, growing tired of men pushing me around.

"Legolas," I said, my voice a little softer. "I have come too close to give up now. Smaug is dead, and the mountain is safe once more. Thorin will give me the gems and I'll be home soon."

Legolas wordlessly nodded, still not happy at all with this. There was still the tension of our conflict, preventing us from having a peaceful parting, but that wasn't my largest concern at the moment.

I turned away from him without another word, getting into the boat with the dwarves. I sat with my arms crossed and a hard expression on my face, trying to hide how much that conversation had upset me. Legolas had struck a nerve somewhere, but I didn't care to discover it. Whatever was bothering me couldn't be paid any mind right now. I had to focus on what I had come here to do: get the gems and leave.

As Fili and Bofur used the paddles they had found to push away from the shore, the realization that my part in this was all but over struck me hard. I had grown close to the dwarves and the hobbit, and I was sad that it was almost time for me to leave. But Thorin and I had made a deal, and I was going to stand by it.

The only problem was that suspicion was growing in my mind. In light of Thorin's recent behaviors, I had been beginning to dread our arrival to the Lonely Mountain. It seemed absurd that I was questioning the integrity of the dwarf king that had prevailed this entire time, but my knowledge of his predecessors was a reminder of what he was susceptible to, and I wasn't about to deny any chance that by the time we got there, the terms of the agreement Thorin and I had laid down had changed completely.