Hey! You the one looking through the screen , im the protagnist .My name? Does it matter .
Now I'll explain you why love's an illusion at least for me .......
ON WITH THE STORY
Huh ... Uhmm .My head .. what .. where .. please stop I am on a familiar couch and featureless white room but my hands are tied ,lights blinding me and in a daze I see him again my vision blurrly but i know who that is
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The Man in White hands me my glasses so i can see clearly and the man was Dr Pernell
Dr Pernell : So Del , when are you going to stop Me : Del? It's me Luke Dr Pernell : Don't play tricks Del Me : I swear Dr Pernell , It's me Luke Dr Pernell : Del , you know the original personality will soon heal after the medication is complete just give up control Me : Dr Pernell please tell me why i am tied up and what are you talking about please explain it to me Dr Pernell : ..... Alright , Mr Luke Turner you are tied up due to attacking several people with a knife at the fireworks festival Me : What i never did that .. i just woke up .. Del , she must have done that and put the blame on me Dr Pernell : .... It is you , I'm sorry Luke but how can i explain this but you are suffering from split personality disorder ever since your and your father had that car accident , your father perished in that accident and little Luke at just the age of 8 developed another personality to protect him in order to fill the boots of a loved one , the i want to be alone and dont need anyone attitude you have is a self protecting mechanism , it started of as a new personality but changed your alter ego took hold of you and felt your loneliness and need of a partner so it basically took the form of your crush and it slowly turned your moral compass to hurt others.
Me : So all of what me and Del had was fake ...
Dr Pernell : All of it , turns out the things you thought happened were just song lyrics and scenes from rom coms and animes you watch , not very creative even your delusion was named Del
Me : I ..what..ahh .. like ...uhmm
Dr Pernell : Del said to me , there's no comfort in the truth .. pain is all he will find and ignorance and delusion it's bliss
Me : Haa ... I knew it ... love's an illusion
I was in tears but Dr Pernell told me it's ok , i'll heal in sometime This talk was months ago , i changed schools so i wouldn't have to deal with my classmates knowing that i was a mentally ill person . Me and Mum dealed with my pain and i got over the loss of my father but i still felt the need to be alone . I went to the beach often to just stare off in the sunset and one day ,it all changed
The beach was the same but i heard a voice crying , a girl with fiery red hair ,taller than me maybe like 5'11 , with eyes green like jades
Me : Uhmm ... Hi ??? : Fuck off Me : Alright i was just trying to help you but ok ??? : Wait im sorry .. i just had a bad breakup Me : ...i had something like that as well ??? : How did you deal with it Me : I spent time alone ??? : I can't i need my friends Me : Then go to them ??? : Luke, you seriously don't know how to treat a crying girl Me : How do you know my name ??? : We go the same school dumbass Me : OHHHHHH ??? : The name's Sarah , well see you in school
*In school* It was the same mundane day but Sarah introduced me to her friends and they sort of accepted me into their little group , they were just teenagers having some fun , bowling ,karaoke , partying they took me to all the events , i felt normal like a kid and one fine evening Sarah danced with me and hugged me so tight i had to piggy back her to the car but it was hard considering the woman is taller than me (im 5'9) and im thin af but i did .
The night was about to end but i saw her face once again , the same laugh i fear the most DEL was there ,i ran to my house and locked all doors and tried sleeping i check the time and call Dr Pernell
Dr Pernell : Alright kid calm down meet me in my office tommorow
I rushed to his office first thing in the morning and sat there waiting ,Dr Pernell came in an hour after me and saw the panic and calmed me down , he said it must have been Illysa and I am fine
I didn't sleep for days but Sarah kept me company ,texted and video called to check on me even visited my house and embraced me when i cried and i kind of fell again for the first woman that cared for me .... shame on me but atleast she's real this time and i think she likes me too
I visited her house after a week
*knock knock * An unfamiliar guy opened the door (must be her brother) and Sarah came to door
Sarah : Hiii Luke , meet my boyfriend ,Troy . Troy , this is my friend Luke he's like a brother to me. Me : ( in a cheerful voice) Hey Troy , Im sorry if i disturbed you guys , I'll hang with Sarah time later .. BYE!! Troy : Later Dude , Nice to meet you
As the door slammed shut my mask fell off an angry expression took over me , as i almost wished that atleast Del loved me . Is this what i have become , a person who mistakes kindness for love and so desperate for it , i would turn into a psychopath for it ..... I went home and decided that love isn't just meant for me , the acceptance was hard but comforting
*months later * I went to college and that's it to be honest . I stayed in touch with Sarah and my other friends even Troy and i can see why Sarah likes him just a chill guy to hangout with still there was something empty in me I don't know what but it emptied me well let's move on and don't think about it be stoic like society tells me to be .
