Bad Influence [Helluva Boss]

1 - Murder Family

I never understood how Moxxie could be an assassin. I mean, he was a complete pussy. We were doing target practice, on a photograph, and his arm still shook. It was a stock photo of a generic family, and Moxxie still didn't wanna shoot it. Like I said, complete pussy.

"Mox, stop shakin'. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound." Millie said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Wow, I feel so loved here." Loona said flatly. She was laying on the sofa, phone in one hand, picture held up in the other.

"Just take a deep breath," Millie said, taking a breath. "And let it out."

"But... it's a family." Moxxie said, dropping the crossbow.

"It's a picture." I said flatly.

"Of a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?" Moxxie said.

Millie shrugged. "I mean if that's what the cilent wants,"

"Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family, that's understandable." Moxxie muttered. "But to eradicate an innocent, seemingly innocent in this case, upper-middle-class family bloodline?!"

"Why do you talk like a living dictionary?" I asked him.

"Hey!" Loona said, now sat up and pointing at the picture. "You don't know they're innocent. This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online. And this guy, this guy definitely watches."

"Exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties. That's why so many of them end up down here." Millie said.

"Take it from a former human, we're all absolute pieces of shit." I said. 

"Guilty and innocent aren't our business Mox." Millie said, cupping his face. "Killing who we're paid to is our business. Shoot the target."

"I just think it's a bit exces-"

"Oh my God Moxxie it's a picture!" I said. "Shoot it."

Finally, Moxxie shot, at the exact moment Blitzø stormed in with a random sinner.

"Guys I want you to meet-" he was cut off by nearly getting shot by Moxxie's stray arrow, which was now bouncing off the walls like a cat on coke. We all narrowly avoided death until Blitzø managed to catch it out the air, inches from the sinner's face.

"Our newest client." He finished shakily.

The fish tank in the corner of the room, freshly filled with electric eels, toppled over after Moxxie shot it. Water spilt, eels flopped, everything set on fire.

"Damn it Moxxie! I just bought those eels!" Blitzø yelled.

《~~~■▪︎●○¤○●▪︎■~~~》

"Bye! And don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is freeee!" Blitzø called after the client as she drove away. Thankfully she hadn't burnt to death, neither had any of us, and our office was fine. The only casualties were the eels and a few others in the building. RIP eels.

"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxie asked.

"When you set fire to my office in front of a client YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! NOW SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THAT FANCY BOOK IS STILL INTACT!" Blitzø yelled.

"You mean our only ticket to the other side? Yeah, I got it." Loona said, holding it up.

"And that's why you're my favourite Loony." Blitzø said.