Bad Influence [Helluva Boss]

3 - Spring Broken

Even by my standards, Blitzø had shit taste in music. To be honest, the song playing was probably alright, but Blitzø was just butchering it. Thankfully, someone pulled into our parking space and Blitzø almost crashed the car. Always a fun start to a day of work.

The car that had taken our spot was a bright pink race car, SUCKS 4 LIFE as the number plate. I already hated the driver. As did Blitzø, apparently.

"Oh you suck for life, do ya?" He yelled. He stuck his head out the car window and screamed through his megaphone. I still didn't know where he got it from. "Listen up you unoriginal pink condom! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot! Oh shit. Verosika?"

"Blitzo." Verosika said. She was a tall succubus, with long blonde hair and an expensive looking fur coat over her short, tight dress.

"I should've known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles. Which is odd, cause I believe the nearest ocean is -" he fell out the window. Blitzø shot to his feet and continued like it never happened. "Three rings down!"

"Ten bucks they used to date." I said.

"Don't you know who that is?" Loona asked obviously, turning to face me.

"And I should've known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts." Verosika said, taking a sip from a small pink flask.

"A bitch?" I guessed.

"Oh yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelze-juice bottle like it's the last cock in hell." Blitzø said.

"They let me out because I'm still famous." Verosika said, running a hand through her hair. "And rehab is for sad loser wash-ups. So, your sister says hi."

Blitzø stalked over to her. "Why are you parking here? This is the only parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!"

Verosika bent to be at eye level with him. "Actually prick, it has my name on it." She pointed at the floor. Sure enough, I.M.P had been scribbled out with bright pink paint, Verosika written underneath.

Verosika straightened. "I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building, and they wanted me to come in this week to lead their team during spring break."

"A week?! No no, you are not parking here for a fucking week!" Blitzø yelled.

"Aw, you mad Blitzo?" Verosika cooed, taking off her pink sunglasses. "You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car-"

They said the next bit in unison: "And run three rings to Wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons."

"Goddamn it whore, you will not let that go!" Blitzø yelled.

"Choke on a sandpaper cock." Verosika said, flipping him off as she walked past him.

Blitzø chased after her. "Hold on! You better move that pussy wagon right now or I'll-"

"You'll what?" The biggest, toughest looking hellhound I ever saw cut in, standing behind Blitzø.

He stammered. "Or I'll, um, I- I'll call HR."

Silence. Hysterical laughter from all. More silence.

"Anyway, meet my new hellhound, Vortex." Verosika said, gesturing at him. "Unlike you, he actually does his job well."

She walked off. Vortex followed. Verosika flipped Blitzø off again.

"Ta-ta fuck-stain."

Blitzø groaned. "I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that."