The Fear You Know

13. The Rules of Fear

 The two of them were still awake when the sun arose. Both huddled around the lantern in their dark jackets pulled around them, sitting in morose silence. Eli, for his part, felt oddly muddled. His head was unusually foggy, as were his eyes. He felt as if sleep was hanging just above him like a wet wool blanket threatening to fall from the sky and smother him.

Across the fire, he could see Peter glancing over at him on occasion as if wanting to say something, but not having the courage to do so.

Eli didn't have the strength or desire to question him directly, so he waited for Peter to speak of his own accord, and simply sat there staring at the flickering flame of the oil lantern.

"Eli?"

He lifted his head slowly, looking across the lantern to where Peter was sitting staring at him. He looked nervous, but resolute and Eli sighed slightly, "Yes, Peter?"

"I.... What happened to your father?"

Inside, Eli's heart sank. A dry lonely breeze reached them from the Desolate tugging playfully at his hair as if inviting him to come and join. To venture out over the vast cracked earth, and dance alone under infinite sky.

He looked down at his hands. He didn't want to talk about this. Peter already knew all he needed to know...

Peter waited, and Eli looked down at his boots.

"When I was young...my parents abandoned me," he began.

"Eli I-"

Eli held up a hand to silence Peter. If he was going to speak, he was going to do it now and have there be no interruptions. He reached down and began packing his bags, eager to have something to occupy his hands with as he ventured into the past with his words.

For his part, Peter fell back into silence listening intently as Eli began his story, "My father was a scholar, like me. As I remember him, he had a love and fascination for history, historical architecture, historical volumes, ancient religions. Anything that could tell him more about where we came from, and how things came to be." Eli Rubbed the back of his head running fingers through his hair as the wind continued to scatter it, "He was an Information Broker like me, and, as a family we traveled extensively to find, barter and sell that information. But all he really wanted, his greatest desire was to learn the key that would free us from the Dreads. He wanted to find a way to defeat them, and he spent countless hours puzzling over the subject attempting to find the answer."

Off to the side Wink was lounging quietly in Eli's satchel. He didn't blink.

"My mother was his assistant in many ways, but she was a woman extensively versed in the arts. She loved to sing, and she loved to dance, and she used to do beautiful sketches. My father once said that were a man robbed of his ability to see color, they wouldn't have been able to tell my mother's drawings apart from the real world." Eli could smell it now, the faint odor of her charcoal dust, and he could hear the sound of her hand scratching charcoal over dry paper.

He stowed the lantern away, adjusting his cuffs as he stood urging Peter to do the same. This story could be told on the way.

"My parents met in the Lost, or a place somewhere between the Lost and the Desolate where the fear of being found by others is common, but for that moment, whatever they had was strong enough to convince them to be together. My father had inherited the tower from his father, and so they lived there for a few years before having me." In his memory he could smell the tang of the sea, and the harsh smoke as his mother stoked the fire. He took a long, deep breath, "One day my parents were there, and the next day they were gone. Delving into my father's records on our family history, I discovered that the men of my family have a proclivity for walking off into the Desolate and vanishing forever. I imagine that generations of my family have served Exclusion, so naturally I assumed that my father and mother both succumbed."
Peter watched him, his large blue eyes wide with sympathy. He reached a hand forward as if to make a comforting gesture, but pulled his hand back as if he wasn't sure what to do.