𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, charlie conway

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓 | october '83

"ALL I KNOW IS that if I stay there, he could try to really hurt me, and he could take Charlie again."
A 21-year-old Casey shivers on Donna's shoddy couch, wrapped in a blanket with her son fast asleep in her arms. It was the first snow of the year, and she hoped and prayed the whole walk to the Nelson apartment that her warmth would be enough to keep Charlie warm too. They had left with nothing, and weren't going back.

"Well, then the answer is simple." Donna returns to the couch, toting a hot tea for her younger friend who lacked some of the wiseness she held from years as a mother and wife. "You're not going back to him — not now, not ever. You think he could harm your son? You can't go back."
"I was so stupid, D. I knew what he was doing, and I let him, and now I'm upset with the consequences."
"You didn't know the consequences were that he would try to run off into hiding with his own son! You were 16 when you met him, he took advantage of your inexperience, your youth and beauty, your smarts. How were you supposed to know?"
Casey sits there sniffling for a bit, still feeling guilty about her actions. She always felt bad for being unhappy with Jimmy, like she was doing something wrong to invoke the way he treated her. He was so good to his son, he loved Charlie so much, but he didn't seem to love his wife the same.

"But don't you worry about Chris not having a father?" Casey asks. "What will we do when we can't help them with boy things? I'm depriving him of something he's meant to have."
"Moms are superheroes — we'll figure it out when the time comes, Casey. You're only depriving him of interaction with an abusive man. That's not a bad thing, and someday he'll understand you needed to protect him."
"You promise?"
"I promise." Donna pats her shoulder, leaning over to offer as much comfort as she could. "You can put Charlie to bed with Crystal, then come to my room and we can keep talking about this. Your back needs a break, he's getting big to be carried."
Casey sets down her tea, taking her son down to the kids room — Donna was planning to move to a bigger place soon, but for now they just had a two bedroom apartment. Crystal had recently moved into the kids room from her mother's bedroom, as she had received her birthday gift of a toddler bed.

Casey opens the door to the room as quiet as she can, not wanting to disturb the three sleeping kids that were already in there. Crystal's bed is in the corner, illuminated through the light in the crack of the doorway. She sleeps off to one side, so she pulls back the blanket and sets Charlie down on the other, hoping neither of them would wake. She was too upset to have to explain any of this now, and typically when Charlie woke up, he was wide awake — it was 1:00 in the morning. They seem comfortable enough, she finds hope in their peace, and then she leaves them as silent as she had been on in the way in.

Within a few minutes, Crystal comes out of sleep to a half-awake state. It's not enough consciousness to think of much, but enough to make you recognize your surroundings. Feeling the warm body next to her, she knows it's Charlie without even being able to see him. She doesn't question why he's there, she just shifts over and holds onto him. The warmth was what she needed, the way he smelled like home to her. She drifts off a moment later, back to sleep in comfort.

In the morning, Charlie wakes to light coming in through the window. After a minute of looking around, he knows where he is but is confused as to why he's there and when he came. He's too groggy to think much of it. There's a weight on him, and looking to his right, he can see why — there was his best friend, keeping him warm with her head on his arm. Crystal, the girl whose eyes seemed to dance every time he looked at them, who he could always go to for a hug, his partner in crime, his favorite person to play with. He doesn't want to wake her, so he just stays there looking at her for a while.

She stirs soon enough, snapping awake only to see him looking down at her — no need to be afraid, her best friend was there. The sight was something she wished she could see every day, as it meant they could spend a whole day together. And who wouldn't want to spend a whole day with their best friend? Besides, she hated to sleep alone, so much so that until a few weeks ago, she'd crawl into Chris's bed in the middle of the night.

"Hi." She smiles with sleep fresh in her eyes.
"Hi."
"When'd you get here?"
"I dunno." He shrugs.
The two giggle quietly, not knowing what to make of the situation. It didn't seem unusual that they were together — they had shared a bed before, and they did just about everything together — but nonetheless the lack of understanding as to how Charlie had arrived was curious to them.

Crystal's mood turns. "It's Saturday, maybe Snoopy's on!" She gets up, Charlie is slow to follow. "Are you coming, slowpoke?"
"Yeah, my arm was just asleep."
The two scurry down the hall to the living room, helping each other onto the couch before Crystal found the remote and the right channel. She was right — It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was on. They find a blanket and get cozy beneath it, knowing to keep their voices low because it was early.

Soon enough, Casey and Donna come out looking for them, absolutely happy that they were together and keeping each other warm. Crystal hugs onto Charlie, still cold.

"What mommy? Friends like hugs!" Crystal flashes her pretty smile of baby teeth, and Donna wants to melt.
"I like hugs too." Charlie says, holding her in return.
The two mothers croon over their children together before going off to make breakfast. Casey feels a sense of relief knowing her son was comfortable and not upset.

"I have a secret." Crystal keeps her voice down.
"Tell me!"
She leans over to whisper to him. "I love you!"
"I love you too!" is what he says with no hesitation.

"Charlie, why don't you come help me and Miss Donna make pancakes?" Casey asks from the kitchen.
"Okay, but there better be chocolate chips!"
He hops down and Crystal follows close behind, wanting to help too.

Crystal and Charlie had always known the feeling of true love. There was never a doubt about it. And tonight, somewhere in the universe, they're still out there, tucked away from the realities of our bitter world together in a toddler bed. Or maybe they're adults, and they got their years together. Either way, love is present, and that is who they are.

THE END.