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007, the rules
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"CHAD, CHAD." A whisper entered the boy's ears as he began to stir awake. "What, Ethan?"
A shirtless Chad sat up, his arm still thrown over Adelaide's waist. "Tara and Sam were attacked. Neither of them were hurt, though."
Chad's stomach dropped as he watched Ethan leave the room. He flopped back down, holding Adelaide even closer than before.
He stared at his girlfriends face, and silently prayed this would all just go away.
But he knew better. The only way they would go away is if they died.
✧˖*°࿐
"Okay, nerds, listen up!" Mindy clapped as she stood in front of the group. "As terrifying as this all is, i'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time. It's fine, okay. The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel."
"Um, what's a requel?" Anika questioned. "You're beautiful, sweetie. Let's hold the questions until the end."
"Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro. Stab 2 took place in college." Sam voiced. "So we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?"
"That is one possibility. Heroes now in college: check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and/or body count: check, check and check."
"I don't like this." Ethan mumbled. "But it can't just be about Stab 2."
"Why not?" Adelaide questioned. "It would make sense, if this were just a sequel, but we're not in a sequel. Because nobody just makes sequels anymore. We're in a franchise! And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise." Sam sighed, "I had a feeling."
"Rule one: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings. You got to top what came before to keep people coming back." Mindy explained.
"Beheadings?" Chad and Adelaide questioned in sync. "Beheadings." Mindy confirmed.
"Rule two: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with Letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here. And rule three: no one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bust for nostalgia sake. It's not looking too good for Gale and Kirby. Oh, and that's not even the worst part!"
Chad tutted, "Oh, this is the part where she tells us the worst part."
"The worst part is, franchises are just continuing episodic instalments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now, too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond—! I mean even Luke Skywalker, all died so their franchise could live on. That means it's not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time. Especially, Sam, Tara and Adel."
Chad tapped Adelaide's thigh, knowing her fear had risen. The brunette gave her boyfriend a reassuring smile, which he mirrored.
"Wait, any of us?" Ethan asked. "Yeah."
"Does— Am I in the friend group?"
"Yeah..."
"Am I, like, one of the targets?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Am I gonna die a virgin?"
"That was a weird overshare. But it brings us to our current suspects: Ethan, the shy, dorky guy who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky."
"Okay, wait, why am I on the suspect list? Because i'm randomly Chad's roommate?" Ethan confusedly questioned.
"Roommate lotteries can be juked. You could have fitted it to get next to us." Ethan dramatically doled his eyes at this, but remained quiet.
"Quinn. The slutty roommate. A horror movie classic." Mindy moved onto her next victim. "Sex positive, but, thank you?"
"Mm-hmm. How did you come to live with Sam, Tara and Adel?"
"I answered their ad online." Quinn deadpanned. "Okay, say no more, you've already implicated yourself enough."
Adelaide sighed, "It was an anonymous ad, Mindy. And you know we vetted her. Plus, her dad is a cop."
"And that makes it more likely that she's the killer because having a cop dad is a great cover. Do you not remember how these movies work, Adel!"
"Is she always like this?" Quinn whispered. Adel gave her a small nod. "And finally... Anika."
The brunette blew her girlfriend a kiss as Mindy kissed the air, before her face became deadly serious. "Never trust the love interest."
Anika's smile dropped, and the group gave her sympathetic looks.
"Okay, so, we have our rules and we have our suspects." Sam broke the sudden tense atmosphere. "But wait. What about you guys?"
"I mean, I think it's pretty safe to rule out the five of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro." Chad pointed his pencil in his sisters direction, "Agreed."
"Um, not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through cause one or more of you to snap? I mean hell, Adel and Sam would be perfect for this requel seeing as their relatives were the killers." Adel kissed her teeth, shaking her head. Chad sent a glare in Quinn's direction.
"Yeah, or the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more. I mean, let's be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam are—"
"Don't you fucking dare." Tara snapped. "Okay, she's right, though. I mean, face facts— if we're all suspects, you're all suspects."
Everyone remained in a awkward silence, and Adelaide knew it wouldn't be broken for a while.
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.ೃ࿐ 𝘮𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 ! + wow, mya updates for the first time in nearly 3 months
