Warm Hands

one

i open my eyes slowly and stare at the boy infront of me. "goodmorning, honeybuns!" atticus smiles, staring my day off perfectly. "goodmorning," i whisper under my breath, not awake enough to feel the same joy he is. "you know what day it is?" he asks, his eyes slightly opening in excitement, his heart filling with joy. slightly, i shake my head. my eyes seem to close on their own. "it's the first of december!" even with my eyes closed, i can see his smile.

i keep my eyes shut and grab hold of atticus. my head falls into his chest, he effortlessly warms my face. "i'm gonna make us breakfast, theo," atticus offers, trying to get me off of him. i grunt and let him go. i open my eyes as he leaves the safety of our bed and enters our shared closet. he puts on a warm beige sweater and black sweatpants that have christmas lights for the pattern. i close my eyes as he leaves the room and returns to the comfort of my own dreams.

"wake up, theo," atticus wakes me again, kissing my forehead. i open my eyes and grunt, "let me sleep!" i make sure to exaggerate and hold out my e. "get up!" he copies my strategy, but with his u. he grabs me by the arms and pulls me out of bed. "now go get dressed and meet me in the kitchen!" he smiles, running back into the kitchen. i walk into our closet and change out of my thin pajamas. i put on a warm gray hoodie with brown sweatpants. i walk back out into our bedroom and stare at our warm bed for a while. it was warm because he was there with me. i pick my feet back up and walk into our kitchen.

"come on, sit!" atticus gestures me over to the seat next to him with his hand. i walk over to our blue-marbled island and sit in the high top chair next to his. he pushes a plate of two pancakes to me. i grab a fork that's in-between us and take a small bite of the pancake on top. "thank you," i mutter to atticus, turning my head to lock eyes with him. "you're welcome," his green eyes light up the area we're sitting at. i turn back down to my pancakes and resume taking my baby bites.

"so," he begins, "i was wondering if you wanted to do something together? i mean, if you don't want to that's fine, i just-" i cut him off, "sure! do you have anything in mind?" i place my fork down beside my plate and watch as his eyes light up even more. "i thought maybe we could go into town and do some early christmas shopping? maybe not even just gifts, but stuff to lighten up the place!" he shuts his eyes and smiles really big, rubbing his hands on his legs. "alright, i should take a shower first," i stand up, heading back into our bedroom. atticus re-opens his eyes and stands up after me, but to clean the kitchen.

i walk into our closet and grab a warmer hoodie and darker sweatpants. i walk into our small bathroom and lock the door. i take off my clothes, and turn on the water as hot as it will allow me to. slowly, i take steps into the shower. "ah!" i cry, jumping forward and turning around as the water burns my back. i sigh and put some shampoo in my light brown hair and lather it to the best of my ability. i wash it out and do the same routine with my conditioner. after that process, i wash my body with the soap my sister got me for my birthday in august. i close my eyes and run my hands through my hair as the warm water washes the soap off my cold body. i turn the water off and step back out onto the blue mat on the floor. i dry myself off and put my warm clothes back on. somehow, i still feel a coldness run through my body.

as i walk out of the bathroom, my body is filled with a warmness as atticus smiles at me. "are you ready to go?" he asks, still smiling. i nod, and walk towards him. he grabs my smaller hand and hands me a thick coat. i smile and follow him out to the car. he hops in the drivers seat and i sit in the passengers seat beside him. he starts the car and drives on the snowy roads. well, the roads were barely coated with snow. just a thin, pretty layer. "wait until it starts to snow for real!" atticus doesn't look at me, but i look at him. i stare at him. he's so perfect, so sweet. i still couldn't fathom the idea that he ended up with someone like me. but, nonetheless, i was endlessly happy.

eventually, the car comes to a stop in an almost full parking lot. he steps out, i follow. i put on my thick coat and run up to atticus. i grab his hand and blindly follow him wherever he leads me. "so, i was thinking, maybe we could get some new furniture? i mean, not a whole new set or anything, but just something new!" atticus' voice keeps trailing off as we walk along, looking from store to store.

"what about this?" i ask, heading towards a christmas decor store. atticus doesn't say anything, but follows me inside. i walk over to an aisle with curtains. atticus pulls one down beside me. "look! i like this one!" he exclaims, holding a curtain with a big truck in a christmas tree lot that has trees covered in snow. i smile, taking it back into my hands, "then we'll get it."

i continue to follow him around the store. he hands me various sheets, place mats, and blankets as we walk through the store. as we approach check out, we both place the things we've been holding down infront of the cashier. she had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. "$27.83!" she smiles as atticus places his card in the reader. atticus grabs the bags and smiles at the cashier. "happy holidays!" she says, preparing for the next customer. "you too!" atticus smiles, leading me outside.

~~
i walk back into the house, helping atticus carry some bags, and walk into the plain, undecorated kitchen. he follows me in with the rest of our bags. he sits them next to mine. he plants a soft, delicate kiss on my lips, "thanks for coming with me today, i had fun!" "me too," i reply, kissing him back. he begins taking everything out of its bag and putting the bags off to the side. atticus takes the curtains we got earlier and brings them to the window. i grab our blankets, sheets, and table cloths and bring them over to our washroom. i place them on top of our washer, planning to sort them out later.

i walk back into our living room and sit down on the couch, atticus still placing our curtains. i sit down on the couch, wrapping myself in our blanket. atticus plops down beside me and gets under the blanket with me. he grabs me tight from behind, not letting me leave. i shut my eyes and lean my head back onto his chest. "i love you, theo," he whispers into my ears, moving my light brown hair away from my ears. "i love you, too, atticus," i whisper it back so quietly i'm not even sure i really said it. atticus grips me tighter. ever since that warm summer evening, he's held me so close in fear of letting me go.

i love you, atticus.