The Broken Assassin (Male Reader X Helluva Boss Females)

Western Energy

A/N: Credit to Renowned Wolf, who was a huge help with this chapter.

The scene begins at "Richest Cup Café, where the poor pour for you!" Stella and Stolas are sipping tea, giving each other glares.

Stella: Stolas.

Stolas: Stella.

Stella: (censored "cunt")

Stolas: Witch.

Andrealphus: (facepalms) Aurgh!

Stella: FUCKISH. IMP. SUCKER!

Stolas: Why did you insist on meeting me here?

An imp server pours tea for Stolas. Stolas looks at his phone that says: "Reminder, Deal @ Ozzie's set."

Andrealphus: Ahem! We wanted to properly discuss the terms of this divorce. I feel my darling sister deserves a bit more...compensation.

Stella has a big evil smile.

Andrealphus: After all, you did CHEAT on the poor thing. Surely you owe...

A/N: Oh, dear. I seem to have spotted a Stella Apologist. Good day!

Stolas: Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I'm concerned, this divorce is far overdue.

Striker's horse is seen racing toward the glass window.

Stella: Up yours! (flips Stolas the bird)

Andrealphus: Stellaaa, for fuck's sake, stop making this harder to bullshit!

The window breaks, revealing Striker posing on a table. He twirls two angelic revolvers in his hands. He fires one and the bullet hits the window near Stolas' head. Stella grins evilly at Stolas as he dodges more bullets. He flies out toward the exit. Striker wraps Stolas in glowing white rope before he can escape. Stolas falls to the ground in an alley, captured.

Stolas: Oh dear...this is worrisome.

The scene cuts to Blitzo driving the I.M.P. van, with Moxxie and Millie in the back and a fearful Loona next to Blitzo. Blitzo's phone lets out a bird ringtone.

Blitzo: Oh shit. Stolas! It's really not a good time, buddy...

Stolas: I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again Blitzy, but umm...I seem to have found myself in a bit of a sitch. I'm tied to the back of a horse at the moment.

Blitzo: Pffttt...lucky bitch.

A/N: Seriously, what the fuck is your deal with horses?!

Stolas: Um, well no, rather unlucky. I seem to have been stolen by your little cowboy friend of yours.

Blitzo: Ohh, which one?

Moxxie: How many cowboy do you know? (To Stolas) What does he look like, your highness?

Stolas glances up at Striker's grinning face as he rides his horse.

Stolas: Mmm...sexy?

Moxxie: That's Striker, sir!

Blitzo: Oh for fuck's sake! Can't you just get away? Aren't you powerful?

Stolas: I believe he has bound me with blessed rope, which limits my ability to free myself, I'm afraid. So, I think you should come save me.

Blitzo: Oh shit Stolas, I can't today, alright? I'm sorry. I-I'm literally on my way to take Loona in for her very important Hellbies S.H.O.T.