Safe in my arms

Chapter 4

!TRIGGER WARNING!
Panic attack

Hyunjin pov:

As soon as i woke up i noticed that Minho was gone and as i realised that i started to panic "what if he told the others...?! how can i face them when they know....?! No they cant know!! please has Minho not said anything" i started thinking because the chances are high that he already told the others, the one thing that i wanted to prevent this whole time, as i kept thinking about that, i panicked so much that i could barely breathe, my heart felt like it was running a marathon and my brain kept telling me that everyone already knows how weak i am

I was to much in my own film that i didn't even hear the door open and how Minho started to call out to me, everything was blurry, my eyes were getting teary from the lack of oxygen and the fear of not being able to breathe

"-jin!..... -njin!...... HYUNJIN!!" I now noticed that Minho was standing beside me, i just looked up at him and tried to signal that i can't breathe wich he thank god figured out, he put one of my hands on his chest and started to breathe with me "four seconds inhaling, hold it for four seconds and then release, good job jinnie, comon let's repeat that okay?" I just nodded and repeated the process

After what felt like an eternity i was finally able to breathe normally again while Minho just sat next to me and pulled me into his arms "what was that about jinnie?" I whimpered softly while looking up at Minho "d-do the.... Do t-the oth-other's know...?" Was the only thing i could ask before my throat felt as dry as a Sahara

Minho just looked at me with an understanding look "No hyunjin, the others don't know about last night" i release a breathe that i didn't even know i was holding "but that doesn't mean that we don't have to tell them" Minho said in a serious voice while i just nodded my head "b-but not n-now pl-please...?" I looked at Minho with the best puppy eyes i could do to wich he just signed

"Fine, we don't have to tell them right now but we'll tell then tonight!" I frowned "how about this, we'll ask the others to have a movie marathon today and then after some movies we'll tell them, what do you say" i thought about it for a second but quickly agreed to Minhos plan, at least i won't be alone while telling the others

"Now lets go get you something to drink and eat, then we'll ask the others about that movie marathon okay?" I just nodded while minho pulled me up and walked out of the room with me, as soon as we got to the kitchen i saw chan who was giving us an concerned glance

Minho gave me a glass water while talking to chan about the movie marathon plan to wich chan quickly agreed

In the evening

Everything was going great, we were watching the beauty and the beast because our maknae wanted to watch it so desperately that he even used his puppy eyes, and who could say no to his cute puppy eyes so we agreed

Minho spoke up as soon as the movie ended "guys, me and Hyunjin have to talk to you about something important"

As soon as Minho said that all the attention was on us wich was making me really nervous, Minho soon realised that and took my hand while giving me a reassuring smile

"I-i... i cant..." i said while i was hiding in Minhos chest who was rubbing my back, trying to calm me down "should I tell them?" He whispered in my ear to wich i just softly nodded

"What's wrong hyung?" Seungmin asked while looking at me with worried and confused eyes, Minho sight befor he started to explain what had happened yesterday, When Minho finished everyone was silent, i slowly turned my head a bit to look at my members and they're reaction

Everyone looked sad and worried and i didn't like it one bit because it is my fault that they were feeling like this

"I-im so-" chan cut me off before i could even finish my sentence "don't be sorry Jinnie, it isn't your fault but please whenever you're feeling like hurting yourself please come to one of us, we just want to help you feel better but you have to let us otherwise we won't be able to..."

"I-I'll try to b-but its really ha-hard... i c-cant even eat without f-feeling disgusted with m-myself.... I-i..." that was the last straw before i broke down into ugly crying

"Oh jinnie..." was the last thing i heard before they all hugged me