"payakan. it is payakan.
"he is said to be dangerous, a killer. they blame him for the massacre of reef boys and young bulls far to the south." lo'ak looked shocked. "no, there's no way. he saved my life." i gave the boy a sympathetic smile. i knew his pain. "i know, but lo'ak you have to understand that by the tulkun way, he is a killer. they don't condone any violence, no matter the cause. he was their leader, so he is their killer."
"tell me you don't believe in it?" lo'ak looked up at me with a sad face. "i don't believe payakan should have to hold that guilt forever. he is not a killer." it almost pained me to think of what payakan had been feeling all these years, and now lo'ak was involved. "why don't we go back home, yea?" i changed the topic, lo'ak nodding along with me. we walked back to my hut, it had been a long day and with high emotions.
when we got back, jake and the other kids were already there and setting their mats up for sleep. lo'ak and i joined them, lo'ak setting his things up next to neteyam. i was just unrolling my mat on the end of our sleeping line, when jake came up to me. "hey." his deep, gravelly voice ran shivers through my body. i looked up at his golden eyes with a smile. "hi, jake." "thankyou for saving lo'ak out there today." he caressed my upper arm, rubbing it in a soothing manner. "it was my pleasure. i want him safe with us."
my words must have done something for him, because he stepped closer to me, leaving only inches between our faces, and took my sleeping mat. "next to me tonight?" i could feel the heat on my cheeks and the twitch of my ears, so i nodded my head to save myself from the embarrassment of stuttering. so we moved over to where jake had put his mat, and set mine up next to it. the kids were all in bed by now, some asleep, so we went to settle down too. we both lay there, not moving, not speaking, just staring at the woven ceiling. there was a small shuffle, then jake's hand wrapped around mine and we lay, side by side, until we fell asleep.
——
it was next morning soon enough, unfortunately, i thought. i just wanted to curl up and sleep for a couple more hours. yesterday had drained me. i opened my eyes properly to look around, but was faced with a deep blue chest. that blue chest belonged to jake. shit. surely we didn't do anything, i was too tired to remember. just then jake grunted and his eyes blinked open. "morning sleepy." i grinned at his disheveled hair and tired morning face. "morning sweets." he mumbled, eyes closing again. i thanked eywa that it was my day off, or a weekend, in human words.
i, too, closed my eyes and let the sleep take my mind yet again. the next time i woke, my eyes were faced with the roof, but a heavy arm was slung over me. jake, and his arm, were still well sleep but the kids were waking up. tuk was up, playing with things she'd found on the beach and in my marui, kiri was still asleep, probably not for long though, and lo'ak was pestering neteyam about eywa knows what. i picked jake's arm up and rolled over to face him.
"jake. jake. jake." i poked him on the nose each time i said his name and finally he opened his eyes. "time to get up now. it's well past sunrise." he groaned into my shoulder, falling forward onto me, in the process. "come on, the kids have their training soon. we can rest after." he grumbled his acceptance out and rolled over to get up. we gathered the kids up ready to go with ao'nung and tsireya. they arrived and all the children walked off down the beach.
——
the rain that had poured down earlier in the day had stopped and the sun had come out. i was down by the shore when jake walked beside me. "the kids are back." i looked up at him. "how was everything?" "they're in trouble." he almost shook his head, as if he knew this would come. a small grin fought its way onto my face as i went to put my things back in my marui. "alright, let's go see what happened." we both walked to tonowari's hut to join the kids.
he was already growling lo'ak. my mind immediately went to the thought of payakan. "...son of a great warrior, who has been taught better." "payakan saved my life, sir. you don't know him." my heart dropped when lo'ak said payakan. i knew what this was all about. "no. lo'ak." tsireya spoke to him softly, a warning. "sit. sit." tonowari demanded of lo'ak. they knelt down together, then, "sit down!" his loud, booming voice commanded everyone to drop to the ground.
"hear my words boy. in the days of the first songs, tulkun fought amongst eachother, for territory. revenge. but they came to believe , that killing, no matter how justified, only brings more killing. so all killing was forbidden. this is the tulkun way. payakan, is a killer. so, he is outcast."
i had talked to lo'ak about this but something i me knew he wouldn't stand for it. and i was right. "i'm sorry sir, but your wrong."
i internally groaned at the boy's words. never challenge the olo'eyktan. "lo'ak." i spoke a warning to him, from my place behind them. he looked at me, and gave him a small shake of the head, for him to stop while he's ahead. he would never win the battle. he turned back, and shook his head. "i know what i know." ronal was not happy. she let out an angry hiss and turned away. jake moved forward, crouching next to lo'ak. "that's enough." his deep voice has to have sent shivers down anyone's spine. i stood just behind them, waiting to see what happens.
jake looked back at tonowari, then spoke. "i'll deal with this one." then grabbed lo'ak's arm and tugged him along, back to my hut. i stayed with the rest of the kids, and ronal and tonowari, unsure of what to do next. everything was still for a moment before ronal spoke. "you may leave." the kids all but ran away, neteyam and ao'nung leaving together and tsireya moved towards me. i took her hand and gave a final look of sorrow to both tonowari and ronal who watched us all leave.
poor tsireya was practically crying, she tried so hard to please everyone. when we were far enough away from her parents i pulled her aside. "hey. you didn't do anything wrong. they just have to lead by a standard for the village. not even their daughter can have a pass to do anything." she looked at me with her doe eyes, glossy with tears. i felt for her and gave her a big hug. we broke apart and she wiped her tears. "thankyou, ayla." with a small smile she walked off towards the beach.
i went down towards my own hut, and found jake in there. he wasn't doing anything, just sitting staring down at the floor. i walked in and sat next to him, bringing a hand up to rest on his. "hey. talk to me, what happened?" the silence hung in the air before jake sighed and he turned his head to look at me. "i just don't get why he's so stubborn." there was a mix of emotions in his eyes and voice, but most of all, you could tell he just wanted the best for lo'ak.
"he's just a kid, jake. he will learn. even if it has to be the hard way." i squeezed his hand in reassurance, to let him know i was here for him, and the kids. jake leaned his head on my shoulder, "thankyou for being so hospitable, and caring for my kids as your own. tuk practically calls you mom already." we both grinned at that, a little laugh escaping my throat. "i am honoured, jake. i love you and your kids. you have been such a joy to have with me." my words sounded light-hearted and sweet, but if you listened closely you would hear the hidden meanings.
i love you. something that i had never said to anyone outside my family, and now my mind was filled with the thought of saying it to jake. i wanted to refuse it, deny how much the older man had grown on me, but both him and his kids were such an important part of my new life now. i didn't know what to do with these feelings. i wanted to talk to someone, get advice on everything, but if i told anyone they would frown on me for liking a na'vi that was nearly twenty years older than me. the only person that would squeal in delight rather than frown is tsireya.
