right where you left me -h.s

2| Cardigan

Alice

Alice Knightley: Crying after the Late late show

The Hollywood Actress was spotted crying after her interview at the Late late show with special host Harry Styles. The show was awkward and the actress, wearing a white dress, was spotted leaving before it even ended. What happened? Did something happen between her and Austin Butler? Did Harry Styles say something over the breaks?

The awkwardness was there throughout the show. Styles did an amazing job hosting, Austin was a plus one beside the fact that he is the main character and Miss Knightley shined like never before. A source said that Styles rejected Knightley and she couldn't take the rejection. The actress seemed upset and her manager calmed her down in the hallway of the studio. She should have known better than crying in front of so many people. Seems like she's not the actress she is supposed to be if she can't fake her feelings. But who are we to judge?

Stay tuned for more gossip about Hollywood's sweetheart, Alice Knightley.

"For fuck's shake." I say out loud after I'm done reading that tragic article. I am still in New York cause I have shows to attend and much promotion to do. I can't stand the fact that I'm going to be the person that all these people will talk about even more.

It seems like nobody likes me. They can't take in the fact that a young woman can be successful on her own. They think that I need a man to have my back and support me when times get rough.

I did this all by myself. I didn't have no one to help me become the person I am today. I took theatre lessons when I was young, in order to be away from home. I was a theatre kid at school and my talent shined. I did some plays when I was still in school. Cara was just starting her career as a manager when I became her client. Her whole family is famous because of their management company and she wanted to have a client who wasn't well known so even if she fucked up, nobody could say something bad. But she didn't.

I was 16 when I did my first movie. I played a minor role in Frances Ha and that's where I met Greta. She took me under her wig and she wanted to work with me again. She did when I was 21. I started in her movie Lady Bird and then Little Women. After that I won Golden Globes, BAFTAs and I was even nominated for a few Oscar awards.

But of course, they only care about my personal life and they put me down again and again because I am a woman. I speak all the time about the rights a woman should have but I don't think that the reporters understand me. They talk all the time about who I am going out with, they spread rumours that are completely untrue and they care about my past more than I want.

I remember crying about that countless times. I am 26 and I cried about rumours that I shouldn't even have heard. That's the reason Harry and I understood each other so well, I think. We could see the damage our careers made. He had people watching every move, spreading untrue gossip and fans that are way too obsessed. I had people watching every move and talking about potential love stories. We were a well kept secret because we despised our lifestyles. And that broke us, that tore us apart.

When Harry left I felt half because I couldn't understand how a person that you shared so many things did that to you. I felt so left out, I thought that I was his favourite person but I wasn't. I was just another woman, one that helped him spend his quarantine. I can't believe that I let him know me, that I let him pull out an imaginary pencil and draw little stars and hearts around my memories. I can't believe that I felt happy. I thought that we were going to last and become a power couple one day but we didn't. He left me and all that I'm feeling now is pain, all I see is blood.

I decide to open my phone once again. The internet is full of stories about me crying and I'm sure that Cara will call me soon to tell me that everything is under control and nothing is wrong. I am tired. I want a break of everything. I want to go on a long vacation with my sister and Cara and just disappear for a few months. Just to feel normal again.

Twitter is talking about how exciting it is that the release of Elvis is around the corner. The album is out and I listen to the songs everywhere I go. My favourite is probably the version of Can't help falling in love by my dearest friend Kacey Musgraves. I listen to it all the time and it reminds me of a peaceful time. My grandpa's favourite was If I can dream but I can't listen to it for two reasons. Because it reminds me of my grandpa and I get sad and the second reason is because it reminds me of Harry. I can't remember how many times we slow danced to this song and sang it out loud in his kitchen while baking a recipe his mother gave him. I let him ruin so many things for me but I'm not ready to let him go.

I look at the tweets of my fans and I even like some of them. Until I see one that says Harry's new song Cinema is so Alice coded. What song?

I immediately see that his name as well as the name of his album is trending. Fans have made memes about the songs, they explain the lyrics and they even make theories. I see a few fan made videos about Harry, about other singers and actors and they all have his voice playing over them but I don't recognise the lyrics.

I google the album's name. I won't even listen to it but I'm curious about the song titles. I'm curious about how many songs are about me. Should I ask for credits?

The first title I see is Music For a Sushi Restaurant and I know exactly what he is going to sing about, even though I wished to forget about everything. Then comes Late Night Talking, Grapejuice, As It Was, Daylight, Little Freak and Matilda. And that's where I stop reading just to think about the last song. I've told him how much I relate to Matilda, I told him about my personal Miss Honey and the bad headmistress we had at primary school.

I breathe and I continue reading. Cinema is next and there's no wonder that this song is about me. Daydreaming, Keep Driving, Satellite, Boyfriends and Love of my Life. The last song is the one that makes me think about it the most. He has moved on so I don't think that any of the other songs except Cinema and Music For a Sushi Restaurant are about me.

I close my phone and I get dressed really quickly. Yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt, that's the best option I had for my pilates session. I leave the house in a hurry, trying to not be too late for my session.

Cara is already waiting for me at the lobby of the hotel we are staying in. She has a similar outfit on. "Good Morning, future Oscar winner." She greets me, making me laugh. She has stuck with it since I lost in 2019 for my role in Little Women.

"Good morning, future president." I continue the joke and she smiles, knowing that I am in a great mood.

"I have to tell you something." She says as we walk towards the hotel's gym.

"What happened?" I ask her and I can feel my anxiety rising.

"Nothing bad, just the fact that Harry's album is about you." She tells, whispering.

"What? It's not."

"It is Alice, and you have to listen to it. You have to know what he says before it becomes viral and you end up crying in the middle of a supermarket or a Starbucks." She says to me and I know that she's right.

"He has moved on. I saw the tracklist. His last song is named Love of my life, he is literally in love."

She shakes her head and I can tell that my hypothesis is wrong. "He hasn't. He is talking in the past tense. He is talking about you."

"Okay, I'll listen to it after our pilates." I agree with her

...

I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I know that it's not a big chapter but the next one is going to be the one where all the memories are going to unfold. See you soon <3 

Tell me your opinions, they are more important than you think <3