You, Me, and your broken ankle (RusPol)

3

After the night with Poland Russia felt different. For one, his stomach felt as though it had been squeezed and his chest ached. The sight of the other boy made his head spin in ways he did not like. This was all Poland's fault, he decided. He knew something was wrong when he saw Poland, with that pathetic expression on his face, as if the Pole was expecting to be ridiculed. As if he was preparing to be hurt. But Russia also felt somehow lighter, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He tried to not think about it when he followed China to her home.

"You should stay the night. Or two," she offered as they walked along the dark and quiet streets. "My parents aren't home and we can relax, watch movies and... order food." she added, blushing a little. Russia knew where this was going. "That's fine," he said. "But you know we won't be actually watching movies, right?" he asked, amused by her shyness. She stopped and looked at him with an embarrassed look. "I mean... yes, I know," she said, looking at the ground and playing with her wavy, long hair. He took the lead and once they got inside, she kicked off her shoes and they walked up to her room. It was fairly big and mostly empty, with only a few pictures on the walls and a desk with a laptop. The bed looked inviting and Russia immediately sat down on it.

If her parents knew what she was doing, especially with this scandalous outfit, they would be livid. She knew that. They had a good impression of Russia due to Soviet, however, she wasn't sure how they would feel about him if they knew the truth. That he and she have been doing dirty things for a while now. China knew she would get in trouble if her parents found out, but she liked Russia too much to stop. Or maybe it also was a feeling of rebellion against them. To prove to them she could do what she wanted. To be her own version of a country and not just the one, they wished for her to be.

China shut the door and locked it before sitting on the bed as well. She hesitated for a second before reaching for his belt. "You know, I've been thinking..." she said while unzipping his fly. "If you want to stop you can," he said. "But if you continue it will mean you want it, da?" He chuckled. She hesitated for a moment. But then she decided she wanted it. "No, I want this," she said with a soft voice, making the Russian chuckle again. "You're so cute when you're flustered," he said while kissing her neck. She laughed.

"Do you want to fuck me or talk about my feelings?" she asked playfully. "I'm just saying," he said and kissed her again, harder. "That's a good way to say it," she mumbled while pushing her tongue inside his mouth. He tasted like vodka and cigarettes. Russia took the lead from here on out, undressing her slowly. He knew how to play the game. His hands were big and warm, his touch gentle and caring. It was weird, wasn't it? That he could change so fast like this? From rough and cold to soft and warm. This was new, but also familiar.

After China was undressed, she pushed Russia back onto the bed and got on top of him, kissing him hungrily, her breasts bouncing. "You've had so much practice with me," she whispered in his ear. "Da," he admitted and kissed her again. She felt a slight twinge in her heart when he said it. He didn't care about her. Not really, right? It was all about his own satisfaction. To get the one thing that he desired. It was not her. It never was. She had to remind herself it didn't matter. She liked being with him and that was what was important. She tried not to think too much about it and took off his shirt. She looked at his body and stroked his stomach, making him shiver slightly.

But as the situation became more intimate, Russia's thoughts drifted elsewhere. The image of Poland appeared in his mind once again. He could not get it out of his head and it annoyed him. Why was he thinking of that faggot? Russia knew exactly why, but he refused to acknowledge it. He was NOT gay, he did NOT like Poland in such a way. He was just upset because the Pole was so damn pathetic. That was it. But he still could not shake the image out of his mind. China noticed his hesitation and gave him a small smile. "What's wrong?" she asked with a worried, but sweet voice. "Nothing," he answered. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked.

It didn't feel right to be with her. Why? They have been doing this for a while now, why did it suddenly feel different? He looked up at her and realized she was waiting for an answer. Her beautiful, brown-yellowish eyes were staring down at him and she was biting her lip in anticipation. She had the same eyes as Poland. Russia felt a cold shiver run down his spine, was this why he had chosen to be with China in the first place? Did he had a thing for Poland all along? He hated it. It disgusted him. "Nyet," he said quickly. "I'm fine." She looked at him doubtfully but continued to kiss him.

After a while they moved to a more comfortable position, but no matter how much China posed for him and tried to seduce him, Russia Junior did not get interested. His face got redder every time she did it and his hands gripped the sheets harder. She eventually stopped and gave him a worried look. "Are you okay? You seem nervous," she asked. "I think I just have too much on my mind right now, it's not that you're not hot," he added and tried to hide his awkwardness. "Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" she asked carefully. He could tell she was embarrassed, he knew he had been avoiding this conversation for too long. He wanted her, he thought he did, but not now and she must have noticed.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just not feeling it right now, I think I'll go home," he continued. "Oh... okay," she said, but couldn't hide the disappointment on her face. "But you'll come again tomorrow, right?" she asked, trying to sound optimistic. Russia nodded. "Of course, I have to talk to you about that Russian-Chinese trading project," he said and got dressed. She walked him to the door and gave him a kiss, but he felt nothing. Not even the familiar tingle of pleasure he usually felt. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said with a smile. Russia just nodded.
***
When Russia got home he couldn't help but feel angry with himself. Poland was annoying and Russia wanted to be with China anyway, so what did it matter? It was not like he was really interested in the faggot. As he entered the living room he saw his brother, Ukraine, looking a bit tipsy and staring at his phone. As he noticed Russia's presence, he looked up at him with a slightly terrified expression, but quickly tried to cover it. "Where were you?" he asked, putting his phone away and instead taking another sip of his vodka glass. "I was out," Russia answered. "Where were you?" Ukraine asked again. "With China," Russia said bluntly and sat on the couch next to Ukraine, who was not surprised by this statement.

"You can't keep doing this, her parents will fucking kill her if they find out," Ukraine said. "And what if they do?" Russia asked. "What if they do?" Ukraine replied with a confused expression. "Then what? She can do whatever the fuck she wants. Why should I care what her parents think?" Russia continued. "Because you are fucking her behind her parents' back!" Ukraine shouted. Russia got up and pointed at his brother. "You don't fucking tell me what to do!" he screamed and pushed him hard, making Ukraine's glass of vodka fly from his hand and shatter on the ground.

Some of the glass cut into Russia's hands during the act, but he didn't feel it. His anger and frustration with Poland and Ukraine had taken over him. Ukraine stood up as well and shoved Russia back. "What is wrong with you? I'm only trying to help," he said. Russia glared at his brother, but now Ukraine slowly backed down, a look of fear in his eyes. Russia saw the fear and realized what he had done. He suddenly felt ashamed. He did not want to be this way, he did not want to hurt his brother or scare him. Ukraine simply rubbed his stomach and looked away. "I'm going to bed," he mumbled, "Good night,"

Russia had a strange feeling of dread in his stomach and looked down at his hands. Whatever. He could think about this tomorrow. He just needed to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. That always helped. He slowly went up the stairs and tried not to look at his brother who was slowly getting into bed as well. Russia stopped at his own room, unlocked the door and walked in.