Extra Credit | Complete

43

Calista

The winter break couldn't have come soon enough.

For the past week I had been running on fumes. Studying for finals had consumed my life and I was in much need of a break from everything that was in any way connected to university. Including my dorm room. Not even thirty minutes after I had finished my final exam, I had my bags loaded in the back of Harper's hatchback. 

In many ways, I was running and I knew it. I was running from nursing and all the confusion I was facing regarding my major, and I was running from Lincoln. I was ashamed to admit it, but the things Claudio had said to me that night outside of the dorm building scared me. The last thing I wanted was to be the reason why Lincoln got himself into trouble—or worse. 

I used studying as an excuse to gain some distance. Whenever Lincoln asked me to meet to go over material I would text him back and tell him I couldn't. Instead I would send recordings he could listen to. I spent more time making the recordings than I would have if I would have just gone over to study with him. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'm sure Lincoln knew something was up. His messages became more sparse as the days went on. The last time he had reached out was to let me know he had passed his anatomy exam. I had messaged him back, letting him know how proud I was. Then we reverted back to radio silence.

The few days leading up to Christmas were the same as they had been in the years prior. The house carried the nauseating scent of gingerbread candles, Dad had roped me into covering every inch of the house in white, twinkle lights, and Mom and I were continuing our tradition of making shortbread cookies to hand out to friends and family. Everything was how it usually was. But somehow, I couldn't help but shake the feeling that everything was different.

"How's your last year been going, sweetheart? Excited for graduation?" Mom asked as she rolled out a sheet of cookie dough.

Baking shortbread was one of my favourite holiday traditions. I would sit and pick at any pieces that didn't make it onto the baking sheet. By the time the cookies would finish baking, I couldn't even stomach the thought of eating any more.

"I guess," I said, sifting through the cookie cutters. I picked up an outline of Santa, wondering how much my artistic abilities could have improved from last year. "If I'm being honest, it doesn't even feel real yet."

"That's understandable," she nodded, her cheeks rosy from the warm temperature of the kitchen. "Have you heard anything back from your professor regarding that letter of recommendation?"

"I have."

Hamilton had sent me an email earlier that morning, letting me know how impressed he was with Lincoln's progress in the course. He assured me that the letter would be granted and I could retrieve it once I had returned to campus after the winter break. In theory, I should have been elated to have managed to receive a letter of recommendation from Professor Hamilton. He was the golden ticket to getting into the program of my dreams. So tell me why I was anything but happy.

Her eye crinkled in the corners. "That's wonderful, you're all set to apply for your master program now."

"Yeah," I muttered. "I suppose I am."

She glanced away from the flour coated counter. The care-free smile I flashed her did nothing to ease her suspicion. "You don't sound too excited about that."

"I am," I drawled. "Like I said, it doesn't feel real yet."

Mom returned her attention back to the rolling pin. She knew me well enough to know I was holding back, but she didn't push the issue. "Have you decided on a cookie design yet?"