My drug | Ashtray

Get your act together bitch

"Hey ash?"

"Mmm" he replies. You guys had just spent half an hour getting the baby to stop crying after Faye was smoking around the baby. Is that thing like a smoke detector or sum?

You finally put her to sleep and now you are lying on ashtrays chest

"We still haven't named her"

"Lila"

"Lila?"

"Yeah, I had a dream the other night and she was called Lila and she grew up to look just like you" ash says stroking your head. He's so cute.

"Really? Lila. I like that" you say nuzzling into his chest and falling asleep

Time skip

It's the end of the week and you and ash head to your last lesson where you get to find out if the two of you are doing good with baby Lila.

"Ok class, time to see the truth. Now, remember not everyone is perfect so there is no such thing as a perfect score. "

"The two pairs with the worst score is Calvin and Hannah and Lucas and Jackson, your babies cried on and average of 341 times over the past week"

The class laughs as Lucas and Jackson freak out over what the teacher said

"Dude what do you expect me to do we both have football practice 4 times a week I had no other choice but to leave it on the bench!"

"Yeah and if anything I'm shocked that Mr and Mrs we're the best couple in the school over here got lowest in the class" Lucas laughs pointing over to the couple are sulking in the corner

Hannah flips Lucas off and then the teacher shushes everyone before continuing with the results

"Ok and the top two couples in the class are Emma and Jacob and Sophia and ashtray"

At this everyone gasps

"WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THAT FAIR FIRST OF ALL SOPHIA OVER HERE MRS IM SO POPULAR BUT IM TOO COOL TO REALISE, HOW IS SHE GOOD WITH A BABY ALL SHE DOES IS EITHER GO TO YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE FOR A SLEEPOVER OR SHES FIGHTING SOMEONE IN A MALL. YES I SAW THAT."

Hannah jumps out of her seat. This bitch.

"I COULD BEAT YOU IN A FIGHT ANYDAY AND SECOND OF ALL ASHTRAY OVER HERE DEALS DRUGS FOR A FUCKING LIVING HOW IS HE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY!  ME AND CALVIN SHOULD GET CREDIT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HARD OUR LIFS ARE AT THE MOMENT. WE ARE LIVING OFF OF 4 HOURS SLEEP"

"First off listen here you bitch you think your so cool with your little boyfriend acting like you rule the world. No one fucking cares that it's your two week anniversary or sum shi your just like everyone else your nothing special so don't talk to me like life's so fucking hard with your 4 hours of sleep and a boyfriend with erectile dysfunction cause if that were my problems I would be shrugging it off like the piece of shit you are"

at this the classroom was filled with laughter. Hannah opens her mouth to protest but is interrupted by the teacher

"Ok enough both of you head to the principals office now!"

Time skip

You are on your way home after having the principal tell you that you are not allowed in school until next Friday.  That's a bit much.
Not a problem for me tho.

Skip to sunday

You have been arguing with ash about how just because your not in school doesn't mean he's not going in either

"Ash I can take care of Lila myself don't worry it's not like she's real"

"I'm not worried. I know you can but bro your the only reason I actually go to school its fucking boring if your not there"