ma chérie | cl16

chapter thirty-seven

🎶 afterglow by taylor swift
"tell me that you're still mine
tell me that we'll be just fine
even when i lose my mind" 🎶

"Tell me, how was your dinner with Lando?" Marianne, a therapist in her thirties, asked Adeline. However, her question was met with a resounding sigh from Adeline.

Adeline pulled herself upright into a seated position. She didn't feel like laying on Marianne's comfortable couch today. "Disaster," Adeline grumbled, her words laced with frustration. "He almost told me he loved me, but I stopped him. And now I feel terrible," she explained, smoothing out the folds of her black pants.

Marianne adjusted her glasses and placed her pen and notes on the desk. "Did you stop him because you were afraid of your feelings or because... you don't feel the same?"

Adeline shook her head. "I stopped him because he's my friend. He really is a great, kind person. I wish him nothing but the best. But I don't love him," she added, her distracted gaze finally settling on Marianne. She had beautiful, black raven hair, always elegantly secured with a nude-colored clip.

"Because you love someone else," Marianne added. She had a very pleasant, warm voice.

Even Marianne's whole office exuded a serene atmosphere with its calming, nude color palette. Adeline's favorite decoration was the beige vase adorned with a dried lavender bouquet. The scent of lavender evoked joyful memories of Pierre's mom's garden in Rouen. Another delightful element in Marianne's office that never failed to amuse Adeline, was the tissue box. Shaped like an Easter Island figure, one had to pull tissues from its nose. That had always brought a smile to Adeline's face.

"Yeah. I love someone else," Adeline admitted. She still couldn't believe she told Lando, but she was sure her secret was safe with him. "Even though it's pointless," she mumbled.

"Why would that be pointless?" Marianne tilted her head, and to Adeline, the answer was more than clear.

"Because he basically gave Lando his blessing to tell me about his feelings," Adeline shrugged, struggling to look Marianne in the eye. As much as she wanted to be okay with it, she wasn't. "He's over me. And I mean, I'm happy that he is. I hurt him. He deserves to be truly loved and appreciated," Adeline admitted, her voice strained.

It hurt. It hurt so much, imagining Charles with some other woman, who would probably make him happier than he had ever been with her. But she hoped that someone was taking care of him, of all of the mess she had made.

"But you truly love him and appreciate him, too. We have cleared that out some time ago. Don't you think he gave his blessing to Lando because he thinks that you're the one who's over?" Marianne asked, and her brown caramel eyes were full of warmth and compassion.

She had a point. Once again.

"I–I don't know," Adeline hesitated, her shoulders lifting in a half-shrug. Maybe Marianne was onto something. Perhaps Charles had come to believe that she had forgotten about him, although that couldn't be further from the truth. He had every reason to think that. Adeline hadn't mustered the courage to respond to his text messages since August. In fact, she hadn't even read them, she had seen them in her notifications only.

"You should show people you love them, Adeline. You should tell them," Marianne put her elbows on her knees. "Because one day you'll be old, and what will your memories be? Regrets? Don't live your life in regret. Don't do that, Adeline. Life is too short. When you find love like this, don't let go."

Marianne's words echoed through Adeline's head, and it almost felt as if her brain froze for a moment. Instead, she started replaying Marianne's words, and she saw the images of Charles in her mind. Charles in Barcelona, the very first day they had met. The day when she had only seen his back in a queue. Image of Charles in the club, selflessly offering her his own shoes. Charles in Monaco, gazing at the Mediterranean Sea.