PYRAMIDS | JUDE BELLINGHAM

[17] the sooner the better

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JUDE's POV

"and then boom. i know you always said ask for permission first but i felt so many things at once that i just acted... sorry."

she lied. she didn't show up to practice but instead had an important business call to attend according to mason. i can't tell if that was the truth or something she told him to tell me. regardless of it, i should take her word.

my dad's at jobe's game, but mom stayed behind and waited for me to get home so the both of us could have dinner together.

"how do you think she felt?" as if i of all people could tell.

i know cleo, but how well do i know her?

"what you did... it was wrong. i say this on malorie's behalf even though i haven't been the best about keeping how i feel about her, but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on like that. no one does." she's right, and so was cleo no matter how much i didn't want it to be brought up. "mom please fix this, or give me an idea on how i should!"

"now jude-"

"don't 'now jude' me, please."

"call malorie over, like... right now. the sooner you get it over with, the sooner cleo comes back in your life." if only it was that easy. "so, i can't just do it through text?"

maybe i should've never opened my mouth when her jaw drops to the floor. "have you learned nothing?! goodness i don't know how i raised you like this." i gulp a little out of fear of her voice and clear my throat a bit. "so, thanks for dinner. amazing as always and-"

"just go call her." i nod and fly out of my seat to go upstairs to my room and dig through my bag for my phone.

i finally found it and malorie's contact.

i can't lie and say i didn't hesitate to press the call button, but it's too late and the ringing is killing me.

if she doesn't pick up-

"hi jude!" why'd i have to jinx myself? "malorie, hey." just tell her already. "i was gonna come over after your practice then i remembered i didn't know what time you'd-"

"you still can! well, that is if you want." way to get to the point. "i mean, yeah of course! see you in a bit then."

not for the right reasons, thats for sure.

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"so it's just you here?"

my mom had to process what i said when i told her malorie was coming.

maybe she really didn't think i'd call her over so she last minute when to jobe's game. same thing i told malorie. "he better get that win." yeah or else everyone's gonna come and leave with a mood.

i was kind of watching her eat as weird as that sounded but i wasn't gonna have the girl starve and i already ate with my mom so wasn't much i could do there. "long day?" i asked. "it was actually great! i was offered an internship though and it's in the works."

"that's great for you."

"yeah! best part is that it's with one of the managers for catalog designs for vogue."

oh fuck me.

no fucking way she's about to be cleo's mom's assistant. "uh... even better!" i'm terrible at this. she nods and continues eating until i hear the fork drop onto the plate. "yours? you seem a bit off. what's going on, love?" she said love.

lord how can i make this easier?

"could've been better. maybe that's why i invited you over." and it will get better... the second i just rip the band aid. "i'm all ears, judey."

nevermind, she called me the worst nickname she has for me. it makes it slightly less of a job to just tell her. "i wanted to talk about us on a serious topic." her expression has never changed so quickly. "what about us?"

"i don't know. i really don't. but... i do know that you're a great person and that-"

"what're you doing, jude?" she starts to slide the chair out the table and slapped the napkin she once had on her lap on it too.

guess she's picking up on it.

"malorie, i got to thinking-"

"you're not seriously-"

"i can't and don't wanna do this anymore."

i can't keep acting like cleo isn't the only girl i'll ever want, and i don't wanna keep malorie around knowing it's not what i want. she's great, she is. though, she'd know that if she let me continue and wasn't in current denial.

"where the hell is this coming from, jude?! i've done nothing but be there for you and in the times i couldn't, you knew what i was doing and this is what i get in return?!"

"we're just not..." how do i got about this?! "we're not what, jude?!"

"we're not the most perfect of pairs." there was really no other way of phrasing that, was there?

she has this longing stare until all of a sudden the smallest smile forms. "it's all because of mount, isn't it?" i stare back, yet i can't let a word out. "i'm right, aren't i?" if i can't say anything, the least i could do is nod. "fuck you, jude."

ouch.

"and i mean it because where was she the ten months i've been here for you? huh?! all of a sudden she comes back and i mean nothing to you. i bet she doesn't even want you back!" we don't know that yet. but if theres a will, theres a way and i'll do anything to find my place back in cleo's life no matter how much it takes in the time she still has here.

"that's between her and i," once we figure everything out, of course. "malorie, the last thing i want to do is lead you on knowing-"

"you don't have feelings for me anymore." thinking back... did i ever? god the pit in my stomach feels awful.

"i'm so sorry-"

"you're awful, jude. of everyone, you choose cleo mount who isn't even worth shit to run back to or-"

"are you seriously about to fucking continue?"

who knew that's all i had to say to shut her up. "i made this as easy as i could, malorie. but speak another word of cleo and you'd be the last person i ever wanna see again." in this moment, she's is one of the last people i wanna see. "wish her a nice trip back to barcelona and a pay raise she probably won't ever get because of all that debt-"

"get the fuck out my house, malorie."

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