Mandy

Prelude

"Ahh," I quietly winced.

The nurse looks at me and raises her brows. As if telling me, 'Still not used to it?' Tears pooled in my eyes as I felt the syringe touch my bone.

"Mandy, relax." My dad told me as he was standing next to Doctor Sylvia. I wanted him to hold me to at least feel safe. But this is a practice, cause I will be doing this for the rest of my life.

As we were heading home, It was raining hard. I looked at the windows in the backseat, and I saw kids my age running and laughing. As we passed by them I couldn't help but turn around and give them a stare until they became small and blurry.

"Sit properly Mandy," Dad said. He's always like that. Strict and firm.

We got home. My Dad opened the back seat with his big umbrella and hugged me so I wouldn't get wet.

"Go to your room now and change your clothes. It's almost eight in the evening you have to sleep now." I looked at him and smiled.

"Good night Daddy."

"Goodnight," he shortly said and turned his back.

I went to my room. Nothing fancy. Just books, oxygen beside my bed, an inhaler, and medicines on my table. These are the normal stuff I grew up with. This has to be beside me.

As I finished my bath and changed, I went to bed and grabbed the book I still had not finished reading. Anne of Green Gables is the book, this is a gift by Doctor Sylvia last year.

I want to be like Anne, I want her attitude, she is imaginative and has strong principles. I love how talkative she was when she described her dreams and fantasies. Anne never had real friends before moving to Green Gables so she makes imaginative friends. I wonder if I can do the same... I have no friends.

"Mandy." I look at my Dad at the door. I immediately closed the book and apologized.

"Time for bed, it's 8:05 now."

"Yes, Daddy."

---

I stare out my window looking at my neighbors who have a party outside their homes the next evening. It's Christmas Eve, it looks like they are having fun.

I went outside my room and saw my dad busy with his papers. I stared at him for a long time and he noticed me. He removed his glasses.

"Your food is on the table, Mandy."

"What about you Daddy?" I asked softly.

"Later."

I went to the table and looked at my food. Vegetables and fruits. At least now it looks different.

I started eating and I couldn't help but look at him from the table. He's 57. I can already see his fine lines and wrinkles. He's busy at work, he works at a bank but still spends time at home. He knows I need him. No one else. It has always been just the two of us.

It's my thirteenth birthday, I stare out the windows looking at our neighbor's houses. I saw an old lady approach a house with a pie in her hand. She knocked and the door opened. She was greeted by a smiling face of a woman.

I wonder what it feels like to be approached and be given some pie. Our house is not far from theirs though. But we are not friends with them. My Dad doesn't socialize with anyone. He prefers being at home.

I never experienced playing in the park either. It is summer. Sunny. It is dangerous for someone with lupus to go out in the sun.

My nanny is not here. It is Sunday. My Dad called her but she couldn't make it. Well, Sunday's her day off. She only comes when Dad's at work.