What If?... (A Johnnyboy Story)

Chapter 4 - Confession

Ponyboy's POV:

I sprinted home as quick as I could. Oh no... what am I going to tell Darry?! What could I tell him? I continued running. The truth? He probably wouldn't believe it... No matter what I tell him he probably won't believe me. I let out a heavy sigh and my breath started to get a little shaky. I came to a realization. I'm scared. Why am I scared?

Before I knew it, I was at my house. I opened our fence gate and closed it behind me, my hands shaking slightly. I let a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I self consciously continued walking and reached for the doorknob. I opened the door and walked inside. I saw Darry sitting on the armchair.

"And where have you been?" His voice was stern and he held the newspaper in his hands. Soda was on couch and looked tired. "Oh, hey, Pony. Where ya been?" I gulped slightly. "I fell asleep in the lot with Johnny..." I started to walk towards the bathroom. I heard a faint sigh and assumed it was Darry. "You should've called or something. I was worried about ya." He looked at me. He's not mad? I turned around and looked at him confused.

"You aren't mad at me?" He returned the confused look. "Why would I be?" "Because I was out all night without telling you?" He sighed. "Yes, but, you were with someone so it was different. If you were by yourself..." I nodded. "Okay, thank you, Darry." I walked into the bathroom. "Sure, kid." I barely heard him say.

After using the bathroom, I washed my hands and went to lay down. Soda was already in bed. I changed into pajamas and turned my light off before climbing into bed next to Soda. He turned around onto his side, facing me. "Did ya have fun?" I heard him say tiredly.

I nodded slightly. "Yeah, I did." He put his arm around me and picked his head up. "Did ya tell him?" I shook my head. "No, I... I got scared." I heard him sigh slightly. "Okay, that's fine. You can't rush stuff like this I suppose." He took his arm off me and rolled over onto his other side so he was no longer facing me.

I turned over onto my side so I was facing his back. "Soda?" I heard him make a faint, "hm" sound. "Are you and Steve..." He didn't answer at first and then turned back over so we were facing each other. "What do ya mean, Pony?" I sigh slightly. "Y'know, are you guys like, how you and Sandy were?" I couldn't tell what expression was on his face. It was blank, like he didn't know. "Soda?"

I heard him sigh. "I'll be honest Pony, I don't know myself. It's a little... complicated, you could say." I nodded. "Yeah, okay. I get it." He smiled softly at me. "Is that all?" I nodded again. "Good, I got work in the morning." We both rolled over so we were no longer facing each other. Soon enough I heard him barely snoring. I eventually managed to fall asleep.

I walked to the lot to hang out with Johnny. Once I was there, I sat down beside him. We talked for a while, about nothing really interesting. I got a boost of confidence. "Hey, Johnny?" I looked at him and he looked back at me. My face started to get red. "Yeah?" His voice was soft and gentle. "I, uhm..." I sighed. This is a lot harder than I thought... "Yeah?" He looked calm.

I couldn't do it. "I, uh, nevermind. I'm sorry." I put my head in my hands. "No your okay, I understand if you can't tell me." He put his hand on my back sympathetically. He looked so nice, and calm, and gentle. I leaned back against the couch thing we were sitting on. He followed my action.

He put his head on my shoulder. The sun was just starting to set. It was hard to see the sunset where we were, but we didn't care. I looked at him. His hair looked soft, greasy, but soft. His face was was relaxed, and had a pink colour dusted acrossed it. To put it bluntly, he looked nice.

"Johnny?" He took his head off my shoulder and looked at me. I had forgotten what I was going to say. We both sat in silence while making eye contact. I noticed him glance down from my eyes to my lips for a split second. I swallowed hard and sighed. I slowly leaned in, closing my eyes as I go. Johnny followed my actions...