"RELIGION FAILED ME."

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─── "CRIMSON."




THE FIRES ROARED ON as I stood haphazardly near the outskirts of the blazing building. this sensation was new to me, in my young mind, the odd feeling of satisfaction from seeing the fire that I was experiencing was... something unknown, unknown yet addictive.


the adrenaline coursed through my veins like explosives.


I was raised in a Christian orphanage. one that up-held the sayings of God and what not.

I always found it hard to believe he was real,


MR, R. the second in charge of my orphanage always spent his time preaching the word of God, during bed time he'd personally round the dormitories and ask us what virtue we up-held today. I always lied.




I think he could tell I was a liar,
but he never said anything.

some
of the other kids described me as...
"empty,"


my eyes never shined,

I was completely devoid of feeling

I never felt attached to my body, like whatever I did held no weight.

even as I lied through my teeth,
I didn't feel guilty, that empty feeling always bothered me,

as I watched the fire burn the building to a crisp, I had an epiphany.



If God were truly real, and always watching over us as they say..
then why didn't he stop me?






for a very long time I wondered that, and the moment I lit that place ablaze I got my answer.




he's not real.



and on top of that,




I discovered something new about myself





all the screaming, the smell of burnt flesh






it made me feel.






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ꋪꀎ꒒ꍟꌗ ꂦꎇ ꓄ꃅꍟ ꀸꍟꍏ꓄ꃅ ꈤꂦ꓄ꍟ

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏ᴬ ˢᴴᴵᴺᴵᴳᴬᴹᴵ ᶜᴬᴺ ˢᴹᴱᴸᴸ ᴬ ᴷᴵᴸᴸᴱᴿ ᶠᴿᴼᴹ ᴬ ᴹᴵᴸᴱ ᴬᵂᴬʸ, ᴬˢ ᵂᴱᴸᴸ ᴬˢ ˢᴱᴱ ᴼᴺᴱ. ᴵᵀ ᴵˢᴺ'ᵀ ᴴᴬᴿᴰ ᵀᴼ ᴵᴰᴱᴺᵀᴵᶠʸ ᴬ ᴷᴵᴸᴸᴱᴿ ᴬˢ ᵀᴴᴱᴵᴿ ᴺᴬᴹᴱ ᴵˢ ᴴᴱᴬⱽᴵᴸʸ ᴰᴵˢᵀᴼᴿᵀᴱᴰ ᴬᴮᴼⱽᴱ ᵀᴴᴱᴵᴿ ᴴᴱᴬᴰˢ, ᵀᴴᴼˢᴱ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ˢᴴᴵᴺᴵᴳᴬᴹᴵ ᴱʸᴱˢ ᶜᴬᴺ ˢᴱᴱ ᴵᵀ ᵀᴼᴼ.

       ᴵᵀ ᴵˢᴺ'ᵀ ᴴᴬᴿᴰ ᵀᴼ ᴵᴰᴱᴺᵀᴵᶠʸ ᴬ ᴷᴵᴸᴸᴱᴿ ᴬˢ ᵀᴴᴱᴵᴿ ᴺᴬᴹᴱ ᴵˢ ᴴᴱᴬⱽᴵᴸʸ ᴰᴵˢᵀᴼᴿᵀᴱᴰ ᴬᴮᴼⱽᴱ ᵀᴴᴱᴵᴿ ᴴᴱᴬᴰˢ,   ᵀᴴᴼˢᴱ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ˢᴴᴵᴺᴵᴳᴬᴹᴵ ᴱʸᴱˢ ᶜᴬᴺ ˢᴱᴱ ᴵᵀ ᵀᴼᴼ

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