I woke up the next day feeling a little better though my mother was on my mind like always. I tried to smile but that smile dropped within minutes.
My father was passed out on the couch. He needs serious help for his depression but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm not an adult and I'm not old enough to make these decisions. I wish my mom was still here..
I got ready for school and left my father alone to sleep. I walked to school watching out not knowing when someone might show up out of no where and start beating me up. It happens quite often.
Once I got to school I went and sat alone on the bleachers. I saw people smiling and I thought to myself ' Dear God, I'm wasting my life. I fuck everything up' I hate the fact that I feel this way while other teens are out being happy.
I know I'm not the only one going through this struggle. I've tried to get better but its hard to save myself. Its like I'm drowning and while I drown I'm trying to teach myself to swim. Its not working out very well.
I took out a notebook and started to write. " I destroy everything I touch, I mess up with every word I say, I do things that anger people without realizing it, my existence ruins lives." Just in that moment as I went to write more my notebook was swiped out of my hands and thrown. Some popular girl took it and threw it to her boyfriend.
" What the hell is this," he called out. " Read it," she called back. He threw it to a guy who didn't seem too fond of this but what do I know. " I destroy everything I touch, I mess up with every word I say, I do things that anger people without realizing it, my existence ruins lives, what the hell is this?" The popular boy and girl left with the young man walking slowly and behind them. Once they got far enough he ran back over.
" Are you okay," oh you know I'm falling apart and can't help it other wise I'm doing fine I thought to myself. " I'm okay," I said and smiled. He looked me in the eye for a few moments then said quietly " Tell me the truth."
