Shadows in the Concrete Jungle Book One: The Grey

Chapter Twenty-Eight

They didn't go to the repast after the funeral. They didn't even say goodbye to anyone. Instead, they snuck away and piled back into the town car, and silently headed back to HQ to park the car, go up to the living quarters, and dip through the portals in their rooms.

Kendra had paused in her room to kick off her boots and tights, and throw off her dress. But she didn't bother to step through the portal just yet after dressing again in a pair of cutoffs and a baggy old faded pink shirt. She just laid down on her now rarely used bed in her room at HQ, and stared at the ceiling, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

She hated her stupid emotions. She wished she could have been stoic and unaffected by the death, like the others were, but instead, she was crying in her bed, alone, over someone she had known for three days.

What if it had been Noah?

She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, smearing the mascara that she had on her lashes, a fresh wave of tears dripping from them.

That was the true reason why she was crying in her bed instead of running headlong through the portal into his arms. She didn't want to think of a life without him, and though he was a serious badass, he was still human, and had he been the first one down instead of Cooper, would it had been him they buried today, instead of Cooper?

If it had been Noah, she wouldn't have survived either. The grief would have taken her out, along with the unbearable pain of sadness. And probably the demons, too.

If it had been Noah, Kendra simply would cease living.

Yup. She was totally, irrevocably in love with him. She pressed her fingertips into her eye sockets, smudging away any remnant of mascara that might have stayed on her face as well as any leftover tears as she sighed heavily, a single sentence running back and forth in her mind.

At least it wasn't Noah.

At least it wasn't Noah.

At least it wasn't Noah.

After she finished crying away her mascara, and she was back to staring at the ceiling for a while, she felt her phone buzz beside her. She picked it up and unlocked it, and through her aching and stinging dry eyes, she read the message.

NOAH: You okay? Do you need me to come rescue you? We are about to order sushi for delivery.

She smiled, a maniacal laugh bubbling up within her, and then the tears came again. Happy tears mixed with sad tears, tears of relief, and joy, and love. She pressed her phone into her stomach as she rolled to her side, a new macabre thought floating through her mind, as the new tears and the crazy laughter faded away. Cooper had died so they could live.

It was a warped way to think about what had happened, but Kendra couldn't help the thought as it came. She and Noah were alive, so they could continue to explore their future together.

Kendra swept what would hopefully be the last tears she would cry that day as she sat up from the bed and tapped out a quick message back to Noah.

KENDRA: Be right there. I had to have a quick cry about everything.

She left her phone sitting on her bed and ran to the bathroom, where she wiped off her face with a baby wipe, making sure to really clean her eyes out. Her eyes remained red and strained, so she added some eyedrops into her eyes before she swiped on sunscreen onto her makeup free face, and she was through the portal and into the house after she picked up her phone from her bed.

She found them all standing around the kitchen, each picking out what sushi rolls they wanted.

"Hey, Kendra, ready to surf again?" Nick said, pulling her into a quick sideways hug as she stepped between him and Noah. She absolutely saw the begrudging look that passed over Noah's face before it settled into an easy, calm look. She bit her lip and smiled, though she wanted to laugh at him.