Burn

Chapter 37: The Confession

LILY

When Max goes to the noisy garage to prepare for his practice laps, I remain ensconced inside the silent, sterile office.

Not because I'm worried about the media; they don't have access to the garage or the control center area where the engineers watch Max's driving on monitors, while his car is hooked up to computers. I could hang out in there, and the team wouldn't dare say anything to me about the rumors.

No, I've stayed behind because I must do something even more important.

Call my father.

I check my watch. It's been a few hours since Mom sent her emoji-filled text, so perhaps they're back in my condo. My hand goes to the back of my leg, which is again pulsing and prickling.

Eep. Can't do that. The doctor specifically wrote on my discharge instructions to not scratch. I straighten my skirt and rub my hands over my thighs instead, then reach for my phone.

My leg jiggles violently as I wait for Dad to pick up.

"Lily." He doesn't say hello, doesn't call me kamari mou, doesn't have a warm sound at all.

"Hi Dad."

There's a pause, a terrible, scary silence. An empty feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. If only I could tear out of this little, closet-like space and run far away, back to my cozy, light-filled condo where I can hide from the world.

"I need to tell you something." The words tumble out of me. "Max and I are, are..."

Are what? In love? Together? Having sex? I struggle to find the best explanation for our relationship and wished I would've rehearsed.

"We were together seven years ago and then I broke up with him and now we're back together," I say, acutely aware that it probably sounded like all one word.

While waiting for Dad to say something, anything, I feel like vomiting. "I, I love him," I manage to get out.

There's another awful few seconds of silence. "Dad, please say something."

"I know, kamari mou."

"What?" I crinkle my nose.

There's a jostling and my dad swears aloud. "Eileen, I'm going to Face Time," he says crossly.

"Dad? Dad?" I look at the phone to see the video flicker on, a closeup of Dad's ear.

"Like this, Adrian." Mom comes into the frame sideways. "Here. Prop it up like this."

The video rights itself and Dad's entire head and shoulders come into view. He looks incredibly scowly with his bushy salt-and-pepper eyebrows knitted together.

"There we go," I say.

"I know you and Max were together before. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to acknowledge that my little girl was growing up and had a boyfriend."

"Dad, I was twenty-four at the time."

"You're always my baby."

"Always our baby," Mom hollers in the background.

I roll my eyes. Mom, hush. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure it was a good idea. Men in Formula World, well, their first few years can be unpredictable in the sport. I didn't want to make a big deal of it if it was just a fling. Then when you left to take the gaming job, I figured it was over. I watched over the years as Max grew and changed into the man he is today."

"You're not angry?" I have to rest my hand on the desk because everything seems so unreal.

"Angry? No. It's not an optimal situation, with the two of you, but we'll handle it. God knows we can't deny our desires. If we could, I would've left your mother a long time ago. But when you find your person, there's no letting go."

"Yeah," I sigh.

"I actually blame myself."

Oh, god. Way to make me feel even more guilty. "What? Why? About me and Max?"

"No, no. If I never had this damn heart attack, we wouldn't be in this position." He runs a hand through his thick silver hair.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"No, I'm sorry. I wish I could be there. Hopefully in a few races." This disappointment is heavy in his voice, and I can tell he's not happy from the way his lips are pressed tight together.

"Dad, don't rush back on my account. Max and I can put things on pause. It's more important for me that you take care of your health. I'm sorry for putting you in this position, having to read all these headlines." I'm trying not to cry but for some reason, the waterworks have opened a spigot and are free flowing today.

That's it. That's what I'll do. Later tonight I'll tell Max that we need to cool off for a while, at least until Dad returns. I'm sure Max will be okay with that since he's been so gentle and caring. We can figure out our future later — we've got the rest of our lives for that.

"That's probably the best plan, Lily. Focus on work now. And listen to Tanya about what to say to the press. She knows best. It's why I hired her because she's ruthless. If she tells you to do something, do it." He tilts his chin downward and frowns.

I press my hand to my forehead, remembering that I'm supposed to have a fake date and dinner with the sponsor. Crapola. I've already forgotten his name and can only think of him as The Beer Guy.

"Okay, Dad. Will do. I'll get through this. We'll get through this. I promise, I won't mess this up."

"I know you won't, kamari mou."

When we say our I-love-yous and our goodbyes, then hang up, I should feel relieved that Dad isn't pissed. Somehow, though, his anger would've been preferable to the disappointment written all over his face.