𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄

Chapter 34: Beauty

Cyrus

I held onto her hand while I cried along with her, that mother fucker, how lucky he is to be fucking dead.

 He hurt my little mouse, he fucking tortured her, and I wasn't there to fucking do shit.

I couldn't do anything, all the things I said, all the fucked up shit I did, she wanted to have sex with me, because she wanted to lose her innocents to me.

Because she trusted me with her body.

How can she trust me, how can she? all I ever did was hurt her over and over again.

The only noise comforting me was her snores, and the beeping noise of her heart rate meter, I wiped the tears away from her cheek and kissed those gorgeous lips before sitting up from my seat.

I glanced over at the bouquet of roses I had left beside the hospital bed, today wasn't supposed to go like this, we were supposed to be happy, on our first date and those roses should have been in her hands, not beside her.

The more I looked at them, the more guilt filled my stomach, if she finds out...all those healed scars will be wide open again, and I can't hurt her more than she already is.

Lana

I felt like losing my mind, after I woke up from the hospital, I was greeted with a beautiful red bouquet of roses, I beamed and sat up-when I realized there was a note beside them.

I'm sorry for what happened but it's best if I leave you alone, get home safe
-Your Littlest Winter

Did I do something wrong? Is he mad about our date? technically it's not my fault I fainted, but the question lingered everywhere, what did I do? what did I do? what the fuck did I do?

The whole car ride home I spammed Cyrus's phone with messages and phone calls he kept canceling and ignoring, a sinking feeling when I entered my room hoping he would be sitting on the edge of my bed and ran up to me to hug me tightly and kiss me deeply.

But he wasn't here.

A sudden tear shed from my eye to my cheek, why do I care so much if one boy who I hated with my heart left me? did he...break up with me? is it over? Why does t hurt so goddamn much?

We never made it official...so it shouldn't hurt as much as it does, Maybe because he was the first guy I felt strong feelings for, the first guy to make me feel special, the first guy who made me feel...loved, and the first guy...who kissed my scars.

For 2 years I've always had pure hatred for this stupid scar, but Cyrus made it feel special made it feel beautiful he makes me feel beautiful, but the old sinking feeling of ugliness spreads through my chest, I lock my door and rush toward my bathroom-

My gaze meets through the mirror, tracing my scar with my eyes I break into tears, "Stupid fucking scar!" I shout with a groan as I hesitate to slam myself across the face-

But I do either way, as if I'm hoping the scar would instantly disappear, my head goes flying to the left and my hair lands over my mouth and face, "He left because I'm too ugly for him didn't he!" I bite out toward myself in the mirror.

"I hate you, Lana Ambrose!" I break into tears, my blue eyes bubbling with pools of water, "I hate you...you...you monster!" Suddenly my fist lands over the mirror, shattering ti completely I fall to my knees.

My heart was pounding inside my chest from the glass shattering, reminding me of that night, "Shh it's okay" I comforted myself, holing onto my bloody fist I crawled to my bed, whimpers escaping my eyes as I sat on the floor, Cyrus's roses sitting on my vanity and all my pink plushies sitting on my bed along with my pink room that didn't match my looks.

I wore all black as if I was still grieving the little girl who was taken from me, while the little girl was painted all over my room.

Whimpering I put my head down on my knees, "Why did he leave me..."