Jingyi review shop ( On Hold)

reincarnation

Book name : Reincarnation

Author : MoonLightGoddess1

Reviewer note
____________
I want to make it clear that I have no intentions of disrespecting you. You asked for my honest opinion, so I am here to give it. Additionally, I don't believe in assigning marks or acting as a judge. As a reviewer, my role is to provide assistance. Let's get started.

Book title
Well the book title is fit on the book very perfectly but still it was difficult to pronounce but still it was different and amazing ,

Book blurb
Your book blurb needs improvement. It lacks attention-grabbing elements as you only focus on the characters and fail to mention anything about the story. To increase its appeal, consider adding descriptive language and quotes that will pique readers' interests. The book blurb serves as the first inspiration for any book, hence it is imperative that you work on it.

Gramitical mistake

Well your write greatfully but still there is so many gramitcal mistake I point out some
Which help you
From chapter 1

"Ok my child, your classes start from today itself at 4 pm" he said "Alright father, now I shall take my leave" he nodded so I went back to my room

At 3:45 p.m

I was admiring the flowers of our garden after having lunch but then I heard Mary call me "Yes Mary? You need something?" I questioned "Y/n you have to get dressed for your archery lesson" she reminded me while panting 'Oh ya, I had forgotten, I'll quickly go to my room and change" I said and took the dress from Mary which she had brought for me

I rushed back to my room and changed into my outfit then I walked downstairs to the archery range, but stopped when I saw a mesmerizing man standing motionless and I noticed he gazed at me

My heart skipped a beat at his gaze, he was not like any prince I had seen, he looked like

Right way

The dialogue needs to be properly punctuated, and the capitalization for the first letter of each sentence needs to be corrected.
- Pronouns need to be consistent as 'he nodded' requires the use of 'I' instead of 'he'.
- The sentence, "I was admiring the flowers of our garden after having lunch but then I heard Mary call me," needs to be rephrased as 'while' should replace 'but then' as the two clauses are related.
- The sentence, "she had brought for me," needs to be rewritten as "which she had brought for me" for cohesion.
- The sentence, "he looked likeI was in my room" is missing a space between "like" and "I".
- The sentence, "he was not like any prince I had seen," is missing a conjunction such as 'that' or 'who' to indicate a relative clause

Second
Taehyung POV:

I was preparing things for the princess's first lesson but stopped when I saw her walk towards me, she was looking so attractive, those blue eyes and cherry lips, soon I came back to my senses when she stood right in front of me, I bowed to her

"Your Highness, Im Taehyung and I'll be teaching you starting from today" I introduced myself formally "Stop with the formal behavior, call me Y/n and I look forward to learning from you" she stated and glared at me

"But Your High" I was about to argue but she cut me off "Call me Y/n, I order you to do so, you won't listen to me casually" she gave me a death stare "Ok Y/n, lets start now, first i'll teach you how to hold a bow" I said defeated

I demonstrated how to hold the bow but

Right way

Taehyung's POV:
I was preparing for the princess's first lesson, but I stopped when I saw her walking towards me. She looked so attractive with her blue eyes and cherry lips. Soon, I came back to my senses when she stood right in front of me. I introduced myself formally, "Your highness, I'm Taehyung, and I'll be teaching you starting from today." She quickly stopped my formal behavior and said, "Stop with the formal behavior, call me Y/n, and I look forward to learning from you." I was about to argue, but she cut me off and gave me a death stare, saying, "Call me Y/n. I order you to do so, and you should not address me casually." Finally, I said defeated, "Ok, Y/n, let's start now. First, I'll teach you how to hold a bow," and I demonstrated how to do so but...

Explanation
There were several capitalization and punctuation errors in the original text.
Also, there were incorrect verb tense and pronoun usage.
In addition, there were missing prepositions and articles in the sentences, which made them sound incomplete or confusing.
Lastly, some sentences were fragmented or wordy, which could be improved for better clarity and flow.
The corrected text uses proper grammar rules and phrasing to convey the intended message more accurately and effectively.

In chapter 4
You write.
Everyone had enjoyed the party to their fullest and left, after that Y/n's father called Y/ n but she had already gone to her favourite place with Taehyung, the king sent a soldier to spy on Y/n and Taehyung.

"You see these flowers, I chose them, aren't they pretty?" she smiled "They are very pretty but not as much as you" Taehyung winked "In a good mood today?" she was giggling and Taehyung was just staring deep into her eyes wondering what should he do, his next actions stunned Y/n.

"Y/n, I love you" he confessed, she froze and was not even able to say anything which made Taehyung regret his confession, after a few minutes of silence Y/n mustered up some of her courage to reply "I love you too"

"Really?" Taehyung asked confused "Yes, I really do love you" she admitted.

Right way
{
"corrected_sentence": "Everyone had enjoyed the party to the fullest and left. Afterward, Y/n's father called her, but she had already gone to her favorite place with Taehyung. The king sent a soldier to spy on Y/n and Taehyung.",
"explanation":
- The first sentence should use "fullest" instead of "their fullest".
- "Y/n" should be capitalized throughout the text.
- The second sentence should use "her" instead of "Y/n".
- There should be a period after "Taehyung".
- The third sentence should start with "The king".
- The first sentence of the second paragraph should use "These" instead of "They".
- "Taehyung winked" should be in a separate paragraph.
- The third sentence of the second paragraph should start with "Are you".
- "Y/n" and "Taehyung" should be capitalized in the confession paragraph.
- "Not even able to say anything" should be changed to "Unable to respond".
- The sentence "his next actions stunned Y/n" needs more context and clarification.
- The last sentence should start with "Y/n" and use "admitted to" instead of "confessed to".

Here is some mistake you did I hope this help you

Character progress

I strongly believe that the character development was hindered by the frequent jumps in time, such as four months or two months, that were unnecessary. It would greatly benefit the story if the focus was shifted towards the progression of the characters. I confess that I didn't feel emotionally invested in the deaths of Yn and Taehyung because of the constant interruptions in character development. It's imperative that the author prioritize creating meaningful connections between the character and the reader through consistent and engaging storytelling.

Story plot
Your story centers around the captivating characters of yn and Taehyung. Taehyung serves as a formidable sword instructor to yn, a charming princess who quickly falls for him. However, their love is met with opposition from the king, who attempts to end their relationship by killing Taehyung, but tragically ends up taking both of their lives. The concept of the story is intriguing, yet it lacks depth and originality. While the plot unfolds over several chapters, it seems rushed and uninspired. If you aim to captivate your audience, it is important to focus on character development and invest more time into the story's progression.

Remember to actively focus on both your blurb and cover. Additionally, consider adjusting and improving these elements. Intentionally allocate time towards character development. Keep in mind that a well-written book takes time to fully develop, always remember to take it slow and create a beautiful story that captivates the reader. Avoid rushing through the book with only six chapters. I expect you to take this into consideration for your next work.

Sorry if you find me rude thanks for choosing me as your review I hope this report help you

Please give a feedback on your message board about my review.