Angel

9 - Jeremy

Miracle Jim was a better miracle worker than Miracle Max could have ever dreamed of being.

I'd never told Ethan the part of the story where Westley was mostly dead. There were just some things that didn't transcend art forms, and Billy Crystal's performance was one of them. How could I do justice to something like that in a bedtime story? No, Miracle Max's role in the tale of the Dread Pirate Spike--whose real name was now Westley, after Jim's addition to the story--was something I always skipped.

It might have had a little to do with the fact that I didn't really want to think about the whole mostly-dead-versus-all-dead thing, but admitting to that would require thinking about it and so I simply didn't.

I figured out what was going on slightly before Noreen did, which meant I was already trying not to laugh uncomfortably when the realization hit her that Ethan had never seen the movie. Or, more accurately I guess, that Ethan wasn't aware his dad had plagiarized his bedtime story from the greatest love story of all time. Thankfully, I had my beard to cover my expression; Noreen wasn't so lucky. I felt bad for thinking it, but the way her eyes flashed while she tried to subtly chew on her lip as she tried to do damage control was... well.

It was kinda cute. Just a little.

But Jim was a superstar. He clocked the whole situation the moment Ethan didn't recognize him because, as he explained to my mom later, "this is one of the best Miracle Max costumes that exists. Any kid who had seen the movie would've recognized me instantly."

Guy was a pretty big fan, apparently. I didn't know for sure if his costume was really that good, but since it all worked out, it didn't really matter.

"I knew it!" Jim had shouted when Ethan was staring at Mrs. Collip with confusion. "The King's stinking son got his hands on another one! Not to worry, sonny, I've got just da thing for ya!"

From his camera bag, he withdrew a huge-ass chocolate truffle that was only slightly larger than the size of Ethan's eyes when he saw it.

"What's that?" he asked.

"That, sonny, is a miracle pill to help you get your memory back." He crouched and leaned in close to Ethan. "You see, ever since I humiliated that coward Prince Humperdinck by bringing Buttercup's true love back from being mostly dead--oh now, what was that boy's name, it was something like Warren or Walter or... ah, that was it, Westley! He used to be the Dread Pirate--"

"Spike!" gasped Ethan. "He was the Dread Pirate Spike?"

Jim didn't miss a beat. "That's the one! Well, Humperdinck was so humiliated after Westley--ah, Spike, you know--got his true love Buttercup back, he tried to wipe the memory of anyone who might've heard of it. But the joke's on him, ya know, because the best stories are never forgotten." He clapped suddenly, making Ethan jump. "Never! And if I have it my way, they're gonna make a whole movie about it!"

And that was that. He might have been the photographer, but I don't know how many photos he got; instead, he kept Ethan enthralled as his bedtime story came to life.

Noreen had said they'd be providing breakfast and lunch--a nice MLT, of course, where the M thankfully stood for the much more general "meat" instead of "mutton"--which was great, but I'd worried about how long Ethan would last. Horseback riding was pretty involved and even though we weren't directly surrounding a treatment day, his energy levels could vary. So despite having absolutely no desire whatsoever to put myself on top of an animal capable of bucking me off the top of it, I'd resigned myself to joining them so I could keep an eye on Ethan and how he was feeling.

But of course, it wasn't the first rodeo for the staff Noreen had brought--dad joke entirely intended. I hadn't seen Ethan so damn excited in...

In at least...