Angel

14 - Noreen

Is there such a thing as perfect-adjacent? No relationship is perfect. That's obvious. That being said, we were at a point where endorphins were trying to convince us that perfect was possible. When I was clear-headed, I knew those endorphins were lying. If they weren't lying, it would be a lot easier to deal with our particular constraints.

We both struggled to carve out pieces of time to be together. I had another replacement quit when they found out they couldn't just cherry-pick children whose wishes aligned with the granter's hobbies and interests. They were under the impression their days would be filled with shopping sprees and trips to Canada's Wonderland. I was still doing my job, battling the insurance company and I'd stepped up my efforts to help Misha find a replacement who wasn't a waste of time.

Jeremy? He spent his days with Ethan, doctors, hospital staff and trying to grab some much needed sleep here and there. I don't know why it hit me as hard as it did, but I found him asleep on a chair in a waiting room, a book on homeschooling clutched in his hand. On top of everything else, he wanted to ensure that Ethan was engaging his mind.

Was the effort to find time for us worth it? Yeah, it absolutely was.

If things were perfect, Ethan would spend overnights at his grandparents' or go to the park instead of staying at the hospital waiting for test results or going for check-ups. They were increasing in frequency, but I assumed that was good. What had started his recent downturn was a mystery and I was happy they were aggressive about finding the cause.

Still, Jeremy and I attempted to steal every minute we could from the dictatorial clock.

Misha was a miracle worker and managed to spread every penny we took in further than I thought was possible. She found room in the budget to hire a recruiter and I was going through resumes when Jeremy called.

"I have four hours available tonight. Can you get free?"

I replied immediately. "Yes."

"I didn't even tell you what four hours," he said with a chuckle.

"Totally don't care. Ten to two? Three to seven? Whatever works, I'll take."

"Okay, it's four to eight. Mom's been pushing to have Ethan for a while. With everything going on, they haven't spent much time with him. Her best friend from when they were kids is in town and I think she wants to show him off. Ethan got to choose the dinner and she's making a cake, so he's all for it. Honestly, I don't want to be there. It sounds horrible, but I don't want to listen to another stranger tell me how healthy he looks or how I'm a wonderful dad or any other polite bullshit."

"I get that. Listen, let's do something at my place. I'll take a half day, leave early and make dinner."

"Are you sure?"

I'd never cooked for him and he'd only been to my home once.

"Absolutely. Any preferences?"

"Yeah, no bologna."

I laughed. "Deal."

"Okay, I'll see you around four. Thanks for doing this."

Warmth spread from my chest upwards, and I knew my neck was flushed. I'll admit that a lot of what we had started with me being horny and Jeremy being hot. This was different. He just made me happy. I wanted to have him in my home. I wanted to make the most of those four hours. It was an opportunity to share a bit of me, of who I was, of my life away from my work.

"Of course. See you then."

I stopped at Loblaws and wandered the aisles, picking up random ingredients. Wine and cheese would go with anything. An assortment of chocolates would be perfect for dessert. I wasn't sure if Ethan would know about our dinner, so I picked up some kid-centric snacks and desserts for him so he wouldn't feel left out.