First April

Chapter 4

The practice ended early today because of Peat. Peat had to ask to leave early because of the uneasiness, and both Anne and Aon sensed it. The intimacy coach also suggested Peat to rest first before they started to practice scenes that are more intimate.

Aon went home first because Peat came on his own today. Peat gathered all his belongings in his bag and bid goodbyes to the staffs.

He walked to the parking lot alone when he remembered he left his water bottle.

'Are you always this forgetful?' Fort was usually the one who remembered what Peat brought to work. Peat was not forgetful, he was just indulging in the fact that Fort likes to be of his service. Fort likes to be attentive, he likes to buy Peat food, he likes to massage his back and in return Peat would let Fort to rest on him whenever he felt overwhelmed. Fort likes hugs and kisses, so Peat relented by allowing Fort to hug him until he's regulated.

'Thank you,' Peat smiled at Fort who beamed back. 'I don't know what I'll do without you,'

'You'll suffer when I'm gone,' Fort laughed before he pulled Peat's waist closing the gap between them. Peat pouted.

'You're always around, I felt suffocated,' Fort shook his head.

'I helped you a lot, P-Peat, why don't you just let me indulge you?'

Peat stopped at his car. When he pushed the car key button, someone called his name. He turned around to see Ben.

"Phi!" Ben waved at him, and Peat noticed his water bottle in his hand. "You left this," he handed it to Peat who took the water bottle with shaky hands. It's fortunate it was already this dark, so Ben might not seen it.

"Thank you,"

"You're welcome." Ben made a salute gesture.

"Where do you park your car?" Ben shook his head.

"I don't come here with a car. I came with taxi,"

"Oh," Peat nodded. "Do you want me to send you home?"

"No, Phi. I'll just...go on my own," Ben waved.

"Look, Ben." Peat sighed. "I'm sorry for what happened today,"

"It's okay. It's my fault, really,"

"I don't think so, Ben. I was careless today and I hope I can make it up to you soon,"

"You can, Phi. Just teach me your skills, I wanted to learn from you,"

"We can try to hang out together to try to improve our relationship," Ben smiled but Peat noticed it didn't reach his eyes.

"It's okay, P-Peat. I'll try to improve soon. I know you have high expectations because you're good yourself,"

"I'm still learning..."

"And I'm still crawling, Phi. I know you're upset but I'll try to be the version of person that you want," Ben shrugged. "It's late, Phi. Let's go home," with that Ben left. He didn't even turn his back and waved at Peat. Peat scratched the back of his neck – the guilt started to creep in.

He didn't want to let his guard down this time. The last time he let his walls crumbled was when Fort chased him around, acting like a good puppy and promised sweet nothings to him. They were special to each other, they knew their family and was close enough to sleep over at each other's house during their off days. They could sleep in queen bed at hotels, sharing the same blankets, cuddling and falling asleep together.

If he let his guard down for Ben just because he wanted to be better in this drama, he might not survive another heart break when he left.

Peat slumped inside his car. The tears were coming again when he misses Fort this much. He doesn't think he can do this anymore. This drama is a mistake. It's taking its toll on him.