The Crowned Reunion

2

"Azriel... I'll make sure to take note of that."

I have a feeling he caught on to my sudden loneliness - the sudden discomfort in his eyebrows, the way he blinked at me. He'll never know the bully in my head as it screamed at me to grab him by the arm and tell him my real name, like there isn't any danger in doing so. I tried to maintain a shy smile to convince the stranger that I'm okay, but I'm not a good liar, and I don't have the power to fully erase the concern in his eyes.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the horizon, the sun shines a yellow gleam, signalling its final appearance for the day. It tells me dusk is approaching, and it was usually the time dad starts to look for me.

"Oh, I... have to go," I got up and dust my clothes. I felt the sudden sadness in the stranger's eyes, and for a moment, I felt like an asshole. "My dad will get mad when I get home even a second late."

"Oh," the stranger said quietly, still sitting on the sand. I backed away, grabbing my sneakers and hurriedly putting them on. Still staring at him, I wonder, "did I cause his concern? Was it that obvious telling such a lie really pained me?" I clumsily tumbled a few steps back, quickly backing away. "I'm... I'm sorry for ruining your day!" I stutter, almost screaming. "Good night!"

Then I turned my back towards him and ran away. From my back, I could hear him scream back, "Don't worry! You didn't ruin my day! Goodbye!"

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That night, I couldn't sleep at all. All I kept thinking of was the stranger from the beach, and what my mom asked me the other day.

"It's almost your 18th birthday, Azriel," her voice rang in my head. "What do you want for your birthday?"

Freedom. I want freedom. But obviously, I couldn't say that out loud. Dad would be furious if I tols him my true feelings again, and dinnertime is usually the worst time for him to get mad. So I just kept quiet.

"You don't know?" my mom asked, then I nodded. "Oh, don't worry. We'll get you chocolate cake for your birthday. You like chocolate cake, right?"

My parents still think I'm that kid that gushes over chocolate cake. But I want freedom. Freedom from the lies I forced myself to tell for the sake of pleasing them. Freedom from the religion I stopped practicing years ago. Freedom to be myself. Safira Parthena. That's really what I called.

My mind switches back and forth between thinking about a coverup birthday wish to the kind but suspiscious shark stranger I met earlier. What would it be like to be a shark? Is it cool, fun? Would you have many friends? Would they think you're very cool? Would you only get frightened looks from the leople who pass by you in the hall? What would you eat? It must be difficult being a shark, but at least you're free from this suffocating hell they call home and a body you were never supposed to be in.

The thought of running away sounded really appealing at the moment. If I fail, I'll have to go back home with a furious dad and a hysterical mom. But if I succeed, I'll be free.

I jolted up from my bed. I might as well, since insomnia seems to like kicking my ass tonight. I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen, turned on the lamp and began to scribble out a plan.

Step by step, one scratched-out idea after another, I start to build on my plan for my birthday. I've considered asking for a driver's license to run away in a way that wouldn't be too suspiscious, but knowing my dad, he would track down my location... so I crossed it off. Running away after my 18th birthday seemed like a good plan, but I'd have to endure all the noise and the empty "happy birthday, Azriel!"s from my relatives, and doing it at midnight during my actual birthday seemed a little risky. I considered just coming out to my father so he himself would kick me out, but I know for sure my mom would try to look for me. Regardless, I couldn't come up with a plan before I force myself to get in the bed once again.

Then my mind went to the stranger from the beach. He was kind - and a little talkative - but I'm still a bit wary of him. But what if his place was the perfect place to stay at?

Forcing myself awake again, I grabbed the paper once again. I look at one of the things I've already crossed out. Run away at midnight on Safira's birthday, then stay at someone's house.

This is one of the riskier actions I could take... but I'm desperate. I rewrote the idea, tearing the paper up in the process, before tossing it in the trash. For a while, I sat on my bed and watch the hands of the little clock on the wall move elegantly. It ticks at 3:21 am. Despite it being there for more than ten years, it still hasn't malfunctioned or disappointed me. Some things really do last.

I flopped down on the bed, thinking about the possible people I could stay over at once I've left. I don't have much friends I'm close to that I could stay over, and I don't know any relatives that live near me... what about that stranger?

It could be dangerous. Who knows if I'd get abducted and murdered? But he was my only choice if I wanted to run away and stay with someone for a while before finding my own place to stay. Nonetheless, I've got to still try.

I finally fell asleep that night with thoughts running my mind and my heart full of hope and dread.