Steelheart

03. | muse

I could've sworn her eyes were like sapphire the way that they shimmered. I was completely and utterly infatuated with her being. How could I not be? I don't think I know any eighteen-year-old kid who's able to keep his dick in his pants. Or at least one that wants to. I just happen to be on the unlucky side of the spectrum. Nobody's fiending for a nearly three-hundred-pound kid who makes art and plays video games every day. It's not the ideal Prince Charming visual.
But with Hannah? I didn't have to feel like that kid. I just felt like me. She never treated me any differently than Josh. Or any of the other guys who probably had everyone up on me that you could think of.
I never get tired of talking to her. Even if it only fuels my feelings for her. I could listen to her talk for hours. And I hate that.
"But the problem is, he's just always blowing me off. Like yesterday? He blew me off again to go hang with some of the guys. I heard there were plenty of girls too." Hannah says, looking like she lost her puppy or something.
We sat across from each other on the floor of my bedroom. A place I would never let any female step foot in. But of course, that doesn't apply to her.
"Why do you stay with him then? If he keeps blowing you off? Seems like he doesn't want the relationship if you ask me." I say, fumbling my fingers together.
Hannah glances at me and then back down at her lap.
Mustering up the minuscule amount of confidence I barely had, I speak out, "It's just—he's a shitty boyfriend. You deserve so much better. Josh—he's just..." I slightly sigh, trying to find the words.
Hannah half smiles.
"Sy, it's fine. I think honestly if I just wait it out, it'll all be okay. Maybe he'll grow up." she speaks hopefully, grinning.
I gaze at the floor for a moment. I don't wanna look stupid, but if I just listen to Zack, maybe I'll get somewhere. Instead of hiding my feelings.
"If it makes a difference, I could never treat you like that. Never in a million years." I admit, almost whispering.
She laughs softly. Almost like what I said had little to no value. It meant nothing.
"You're so sweet, Silas, I love you." she smiles, kissing my cheek, "You're my very best friend, I swear," she responds quietly, scooting beside me and linking our arms together as she kisses my cheek.
Stupid. Back to hiding again.

~

Shifting gears, I hold onto the small knob between the passenger's seat and me, contently watching the road. If nothing makes me happy, I always try to remember I have a car that's to die for. One that I modded myself. Not many can say that. It was the very first big purchase I bought after getting my first check at the firm. I was twenty-two then.
Now, four years later, she's still in pristine condition. A Z3 BMW. With the help of my Uncle Rob, I was eventually able to collect all the parts needed to make it what it was. The last finishing touch was the jet black paint job, sleek as ever. And red leather interior. That's just for extra fluff.
As great as it is, I still will take the bus to my destinations, or get a ride. Most of the time. Sometimes I'll walk if I'm feeling fancy. But this here? It's for special occasions mostly. I don't see the intelligence in driving a sports car of this stature in a city like Pittsburgh. It's pothole central. It's as if my tax money just doesn't exist.

What's the special occasion you may ask?

It could be corny to most. Maybe. But to me, it's special, because I want it so badly. Taking this insanely gorgeous girl out. Getting to have a little bit of her time. I don't think I could ask for a better way to spend a nice, warm morning.
I think the museum is a great first-date kind of place to go. I'm not quite sure if she fancies that sort of thing, but I find it hard to imagine that any woman wouldn't like that for a date. Besides, it makes for great conversation starters. I'm itching to pick at her brain and see what lies inside.
I had gotten her address a bit ago, and luckily we only live a few minutes from each other. By car of course. Walking is a different story. And apparently, she has no car. So it looks like I get to drive her everywhere now. This city is a bitch if you're only means are your legs.
Pulling up to the front of her house, I could see it was a quaint little area in Squirrel Hill. One of the best areas here, in my opinion. It's hard to find a place in this area. That is without it completely wiping you of all your funds. Most people have roommates in this area, or they happen to still be college students.
I park the car, shutting it off before looking out my window, squinting to see the three digits on the doors so I could pick the correct house. Once I saw the right one, I noticed it was a nice little townhouse apartment. White with a red door. Just like a movie. I could see the curtains open, showing Vera talking with what looked to be possibly a friend or roommate.
I take a moment to look in my side mirror, fixing my chain, and adjusting my shirt. Just making sure I look as presentable as possible. Using my fingers to shake some of my curls into place on my head. Finally, I undo my seat belt and get out of the car. Eagerly heading to the front door, I dust myself off one last time before ringing the doorbell.
The jingle that played kind of resembled a familiar holiday jingle. I just couldn't make it out. I chuckle, waiting patiently for a moment before the door slowly swings open.