Beauty and The Blind

Chapter Eight

My mom is pissed at me today. I can tell by the way she grumbles her 'good morning' and makes an extra amount of noise while she's cooking up some eggs for breakfast. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care, but today I need something from her. Something important.

"Hey, Maa," I say between bites of frosted flakes. "Is there any chance you could take me to the library today?"

Sitara told me she'd be at the library today. If I don't show up, I don't know the next time she'll be there. And all weekend, I've been looking forward to talking to her again.

Ma pauses in the middle of clanging pots. "You... you want to go to the library?" I shrug, trying to act like I don't care as much as I actually do. "Well, yeah. Sitara said she put aside some new books for me."

Another pause. "Sitara?"

"The librarian."

"You mean that one who was there the first day we came?"

"Yeah," I say. "She's awesome. We were talking about braille books and she said she could get me some better ones from the main branch. She's putting them aside for me."

And also, she has a really pretty voice. And she smells like flowers.

Okay, there's a chance I might be getting infatuated here.

"Oh." Her voice softens. "Well, that's really nice of her. She's very thoughtful."

There's something in my mother's voice that unsettles me. I don't know exactly what it is though. It doesn't sound like she dislikes Sitara. It's something else I can't put my finger on.

Well, who cares?

"So can you take me?" I press her.

"Maybe in the afternoon."

I bite my lip. "I could take the bus there myself..."

The thought of doing this is terrifying to me, but at the same time, I really need to figure out ways to get places without relying on other people. I would have learned it in rehab if I hadn't ditched, but I never did-that means I've got to do it now. There's a bus right near the corner store I already know how to walk to. I think there's also a stop near the library.

I could do it. Maybe. "The bus?" Ma sounds horrified. "On your own? Yash, don't be ridiculous. I'll take you."

I feel a surge of resentment that she doesn't think I'm capable of taking a bus myself. But at the same time, I breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn't too excited about the possibility of getting lost on the bus.

Starting at around one o'clock, I get antsy. I'm worried Ma isn't really going to take me to the library, because she's still angry at me. But at two-thirty, when I ask my phone for bus directions to the library right in front of her, she quickly says, "Okay, let's go."

Sitara has got four books waiting for me when I get to the library. I'm excited to read all of them, but not nearly as excited as I am to talk to her. The whole time I'm worried someone is standing next to me, and everyone is too polite to tell me to shut up so they can have their turn. But Sitara seems genuinely happy to talk to me. Not just faking it or being nice to me because I'm blind. And I manage to have my library card this time, instead of, I don't know, my credit card.

Her favorite book is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn . I've got to find a way to read it. Maybe I'll go the audiobook route because it will probably take me half my life to read it in braille at this rate.

I make my way to a table carefully and feel for the chair before I sit down. Just as I'm putting my shoulder bag next to me on the table, I hear a loud, angry, female voice say, "Excuse me! I'm sitting here!"

Apparently, there was someone sitting in the seat right next to the one I selected.

"Sorry," I say quickly. My ears grow hot as I stand up. "I didn't realize. I'll just..."

"I'll move ," the woman snips at me.

I guess it was pretty obvious I didn't do it intentionally, no? I tapped my way over here with a white cane-it's not like I'm trying to hide my vision problems.

Yes, I should have asked if someone was sitting there before I sat down. That was dumb. But the library was so quiet, I assumed the table was empty-my mistake. Most people are only too anxious to accommodate me, but there's a small segment of the population that seems angry at me when I make mistakes like that. Don't they realize it's more awkward for me than it is for them?

I'm sure Sitara saw the whole thing too. Fantastic.

I sit for a moment, trying to get my bearings. I want to start on the Stephen King book right away. I have to feel each of the covers, trying to locate which one is the right book. It's the third one. I put the others aside and open it.

It's only when I've read a few pages that I realize I forgot to use the bathroom before I left the house. After last night, you’d think I would have learned my lesson. And I have absolutely no clue where the bathroom is in this library. It could be on another floor for all I know.

But I drank a bunch of coffee before I left, and the urge is growing more and more urgent. I have to find a bathroom. And there’s zero chance of finding it on my own. I need help.

I’m going to have to ask Sitara.

Shit.

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