Percentile || Ateez

0%

Dear Members,

   I know this may come as a shock to you but, I'm afraid that this was the only way I could think to handle the war I'd been fighting for a while now. I couldn't bear to let you deal with it any longer and so I figured the best way was to allow you guys to be rid of it. Please don't cry, I wouldn't want to see you in tears but rather... smile for me. Smile at the fact that I did it, I fought the war and in my own special way I won it. My room is still in the condition I left it, you don't need to worry about cleaning it up for me. You guys knew I was always big on having a neat space around me at all times. Don't go check if you just want to sit in there, only go in there if you're reminiscing of the good times. Don't feel guilty of the times we couldn't spend or times we should've spent. You guys made my life worthwhile, more than I could've ever asked for from you.

   When I found you guys I was in a horrible frame of mind. I couldn't seem to understand what purpose there was to living. Why did I get chosen for the most strenuous yet at the same time the simplest task of them all out of so many? You all showed me why it mattered, why I mattered and I can't thank you enough for that. This is by no means your fault, this was likely inevitable. You can only be a soldier for so long before you must retire right? I have some words for those that I know will likely find a way to blame themselves regardless of my words.

   For San, you were the bestest person I could've ever asked for. You always kept me company and enlightened me to new things when I got curious or when I didn't understand. You took me on a different track of the journey of life and dare I say you helped me to feel younger than I ever felt in my life. You were there for the middle of the night talks or cries when I needed someone, regardless of if I felt guilty for keeping you up that night. You were there for the random Lego builds I wanted to put together but didn't want to do them by myself. You were my partner in crime and I can't thank you enough for that so please don't put this on yourself.

   For Yeosang, you kept me the most company of them all. Whether we were doing something or not you would always sit with me even in dead silence. We would have laughs together and we would game with one another at any given instance if we saw the other was available. You always made life interesting with your observations or your random questions that sometimes even I couldn't figure out how to answer. While you also had your mature moments, you let me see the more childish side to you and I felt special to have been given that privilege. To have been able to see you being authentically you, the best you there was.

   For Wooyoung, please don't feel as though you weren't there enough. You always made time for me and you would even sometimes randomly come in just to remind me I was loved always. To remind me that I was on someone's mind, that even if you thought I already knew it I was appreciated by someone. Sometimes your timing was right on the nail but even when it felt random and not needed, it was deeply needed and I appreciate you still doing that for me no matter what. One day be sure to have that bowl of ramen with the flower petals in it for me hm? Write to me and tell me how it was, if it enhanced the flavors at all or was simply good for the appeal of the dish. You were always good at making the dishes I loved sparkle just that much more.

   For Mingi, don't feel bad cause of the few times you didn't drag me to the practice room with you. I assure you those few times I was genuinely tired. Though the times where I still went with the intention to dance and we ended up doing anything but dancing together always made me laugh and smile. You brought me some of the most random yet happiest memories of my life to me. I thank you for the rest of my days for that, please know that no matter what that meant the world and more to me.

   All of you continue to live for me. Show the fans what it's like to be loved and cared for. Remind them all that I loved them dearly and that as much as many of them think there was something they could've done or said one time, there wasn't. This was bound to happen at one point or another. I'm just glad that I got to spend my last day with some of the closest friends a person could ask for. I love you all more than I've ever told you in the past. Remember that always when you feel as though you didn't do enough for something. I'll always be watching over you and I'll perform with you every chance I get.

   May we all be Ateez together in our next lives.