Jimmy froze. His heart sank when the realisation hit him. It was not some crazy fan who had been calling. It was Scarlet. His own two year old daughter.
"Papa?" She repeated, sounding confused. Jimmy did not know what to say. He knew he was under the influence. He was afraid he would say the wrong thing.
Jimmy had always done his best to keep the drugs, parties, and overall rockstar lifestyle away from Scarlet. Although he often enjoyed it, it was not a life he wished for his daughter. The dangers that comes with it were too great.
"Oh Scarlet..." He slurred, wiping his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up. "I-...I thought you were someone else. Sorry, love." It was hard to hide the panic in his voice. He so desperately hoped that Scarlet hadn't understood what he had said earlier. It would break his heart to know that he insulted his own daughter like that.
"Papa angry?" The tone in her voice told Jimmy that she was genuinely concerned, which made him hurt even more.
"No! No No" He shook his head, cursing at himself for the lack of words he could think of. Jimmy's mind was too slow, too far gone to be able to speak properly to anyone. "No." He said again. Frustration grew inside of him. He was and idiot.
Jimmy's words were followed by silence. He heard a rustling sound on the other end of the line. Jimmy sighed, aware of what was coming.
"Jimmy? What is wrong?" Charlotte's french accent made her words sound sharp. Jimmy groaned. He was usually good to Charlotte. She was an amazing woman and Jimmy loved her. The issue was the drugs. Sadly, the drugs made him unable of controlling his words and actions.
A sad sigh was heard on the other side. Charlotte had been worried about Jimmy's problem for years now. She tried to help him, but it was no use. No matter how many times Jimmy tried to quit, he always bounced back into the bad habits.
"I'd like to-" Jimmy coughed, interrupting himself. "I'd like to speak to Scarlet again thank you." He felt a strong need to apologise properly to her. Honestly, he had no idea what she had heard or if she even cared. Still, Jimmy felt extremely guilty.
"I don't think that is a good idea right now." Charlotte was right. Jimmy knew she was, but he refused to let her win this. He wanted to speak to his daughter. "Charlotte!" He tried to yell, but he was too tired and weak. It came out slurred and quiet. "Give me Scarlet. Now!"
Heroin always led to arguments between them. It weakened Jimmy's ability to properly process and think about thing. Therefore, he often reacted badly to anything Charlotte would say.
"No, James. Not while you are like this." Jimmy felt as if he would burst. Charlotte was keeping his daughter away from him! In his opinion she had no real reason to.
Jimmy felt tears form in his eyes. Frustration had never made him cry before. The amount of stress he had gone through the last week was finally hitting him. He was confused. He was confused about his feelings for Robert. Confused about Robert feelings for him. The girls in his room, the comment he made.
The fighting with Charlotte now only made it worse. Speaking with Scarlet always made him feel better, but it was the one thing he could not do. Furious and upset, Jimmy slammed the phone back down on the receiver. He dropped his down, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent any tears from coming. He did not want to cry.
A few minutes passed. Jimmy sat there in silence, feeling more alone than he ever had. He found himself regretting his decisions. He regretted the first night with Robert. He regretted seeing Robert backstage. He regretted agreeing to meet up during the party. Most of all, he regretted entering Robert's room, and everything he did after that.
Jimmy's head jolted up when he heard a knock on the door. He kept quiet, hoping that whoever it was would go away. No one could see him like this. High, alone and Pathetic.
"Jimmy? Charlotte called. She said she's worried about you." Jonesy's calm voice came from the other side of the door. "Peter asked me to check on you." Jimmy closed his eyes again, he could not handle another conversation.
"Jimmy?" He sounded surprisingly sober. Then again, Jonesy had always been better at handling himself while drunk than Jimmy could ever dream of. There was no way he was completely sober. Jimmy was smart enough to know that an encounter between a drunk and a sad high man would not end well. He was not going to answer.
Eventually, Jonesy gave up. He said something while leaving, But Jimmy did not hear it. He was not listening anyways. Instead he let his body drop completely to the floor. He relaxed against the cold and hard surface.
After a while, he felt his eyes close. It did not take long for him to fall asleep. He was exhausted. Jimmy needed his mind to shut off, even if it was only for a few hours.
-
The bright light made Jimmy scrunch his face up in discomfort. It made no sense to him, the curtains in front of the windows were closed. He was not facing them either. There was no way the sunlight would hit his face.
That is when he realised. His eyes shot open to check if he was right. His vision was blurred for a few moments and he blinked in an attempt to sharpen it.
Once he could see, he saw exactly what he had feared. His door was open, bright light shining in from the hallway. How had anyone been able to open it? Had many people seen him? He hoped not. His pathetic position on the floor was not exactly what he would want people to remember for.
Suddenly, the light disappeared from Jimmy's face. Something blocked the source. A tall man was stood in the door. Jimmy immediately knew who it was.
