It's been a week since I started acting like this. Like how I truely wanted to act. Now I can't say I enjoy being alone. I mean really who enjoys being alone? I personally don't but..I deserve this. I'm mad. I'm angry. Angry at the world. I've resorted to hitting things in my path. For example,I've begun hitting my wall. My door. The other night I punched my mirror to the point it broke. It hurt extremely badly..it wasn't safe to take out the glass shards but I refuse to let anyone help me again. Never again.
This past week has been torture. I've been pushing everyone away from me. It's safer for me and them if I do this of course...so why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt if it's you? If it's him. Xander..Why does it hurt to leave him? I care about him..right? So why am I abandoning him. It hurts to leave him. Some nights he comes over and knocks on my door just to check up on me..it's really sweet. Other nights he knocks on my door in order to give me food..it's nice.
I don't feel like myself anymore. I haven't felt like myself in a week. Like I'm someone else. Like there is someone else in my head making me do this. Making me push him away. I'm not myself anymore. There's someone else in my head isn't there? I'm going crazy. I genuinely think I'm going crazy. I've been hearing voices for this past week. Telling me to do this. It doesn't sound like me at all! I don't know this voice..it hurts so bad.I'm so tired of listening. Who even if this voice..why are they here..help me..
I'm not me anymore..
YOU ARE READING
☆ Stab to the heart ☆
Fanfiction"I'm tired of acting like this is ok. It hurts. It's cutting me open. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of this world."
