☆ Stab to the heart ☆

☾6☾

I've been trying to distract myself from you.
But no I can't even do that.
I love you David I love you so much that it hurts me deeply.
But you keep avoiding me. I don't get it. Why does it hurt so much when it's you.
Why is it you?
Why does it have to be you.
Dear god I love you so fucking much. I wish I could carve out my heart and give it to you.
But even if I did that it wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't show how much I truely love you. Would it?
I'd cut myself for you. I have done it before..why do I feel guilty for doing that though? I did it for you so shouldn't I be happy?
Shouldn't I be happy doing horrible things for someone who hates me and refuses to talk to me.
Why does it hurt so much.
Why does everything that you have told me before make me hurt more. I want nothing more but to be seen by you. I want nothing more then to hear your sweet voice again..but that won't happen.
I want to hear you tell me you love me.
But it hurts so bad. It hurts. My heart is hurting and it's your fault. It's all your fault.
But I want to hear you say those words.
I want to here it.
But even if you did..
Even if you told me "I love you"..
It would still feel as if my heart is being cut up and ripped apart.
And it's your fault.
You're the reason I feel this way and I hate it.
Why me? I didn't want to suffer this way.
Why do I still love you.
Why..
Dear god. I hate you so much..