The band was set to meet up at 3pm that Saturday afternoon to get ready for the gig that night. Whether it was getting drunk or getting in some last minute practice, that was up to the person. The friends of the band members were also present in full support. Everyone jokes about them being the only groupies the band will seemingly ever have. The only bandmate who contradicted this joke was Becca. Girls at gigs have gotten into full on fist fights over her, and that was after minimal effort on her behalf!
The playboy of the band: the name the band teased her with constantly. It was a joke but it was also true. Becca usually beds one or other girl after a gig. It's the rush and the high from performing that gets her all worked up and she just can't physically stop herself. Heng thought it was the craziest theory Becca had come up with, while Richie begged his baby sister to please for the love of god just stop talking about her sex life.
When 2pm rolled around, Freen pulled up early. She had wanted to get set up and get in the zone as much as possible before the gig. However, the gig would only start at 9pm and their turn would be around 10:15. If she had to be honest, she just wanted to see Becca. It had been near impossible to not think about the other woman after the club the previous night.
Freen could for the most part not believe the reaction she was having towards Becca. She can't even remember when it all started. When she first saw Becca as the band's frontman, she thought she might pass out. But why? Why would she experience such an emotion with a friend she had in high school years ago?
It was guilt. That was the feeling. She chose a shitty boy over her best friend. But even besides that, she made her choice a little bit out of fear. Her parents were quite traditional and she knew they would try to match her with a suitable man. She was afraid, knowing that she would never be able to love any man fully. There was a part of her she knew she couldn't give away.
Even Scott was more of a mask than anything else, which is why she didn't have any inkling of desire to participate in a night of post prom sex. Maybe if Becca had been her partner...
Freen would lie to herself most convincingly if she said that she wasn't interested in women, especially not her best friend, or rather ex-friend. But the thoughts of Becca picking up every girl in sight at the club the previous night plagued her deeply. Whenever she relived those moments in her memory she would have to suppress the urge to break something. She just knew she didn't want to see it again.
So she feared the gig and she feared Becca's reputation and she feared her damn bag of tricks. Which is why she arrived earlier than the rest...hoping to spend some time with Becca.
Walking in through the front gate, Freen could hear the soft sounds of an acoustic guitar come from one of the tall trees that provided some shade in the hot and humid temperature. As she approached slowly, she could see Becca leaning with her her back against the tree, sitting comfortably in the grass. She was singing gentler songs than what they were used to jamming in the band.
"Come over here for a second." Becca called Freen closer when she spotted her, encouraging her to join her in the soft grass as she continued picking a collection of pleasing notes.
Becca had been lost in gentle reverie outside for a while. Freen. Initially the smaller woman was enjoying showing off her prowess in picking up girls, but when she had her tactics flipped on her in that fateful foam, she felt herself burning up from jealousy. Becca had been longing for Freen's touch on a level that was more than just plutonic, even as simple as a moment of intimate staring. She had been longing since high school. Becca had never been particularly interested in either boys or girls in grade school, she just felt weird about it all. Then when she met Freen it was as if her mind just rewired itself. Freen had changed everything because for the first time ever she could feel love...longing...lust.
Becca knew she was gay. And more important than that, Becca felt these feelings for her best friend. For all intents and purposes, Freen was her first love and she didn't even know. And she could never properly explain it to anyone. She felt like there was no one that would have understood; who would understand now. Irin came closest but even she doesn't know the deepest parts of the story.
Becca only knew that it was proving to be incredibly difficult to pretend now that things were otherwise...
It was with this in mind that Becca found herself tucked comfortably in the grass, against the tree, with her acoustic guitar, playing with old songs. "Did you know... I wrote you a song at school..."
"You did?", asked Freen in surprise, never having been aware of Becca's apparent masses of songs that she had written like a diary. Freen know it was like a diary when she once, during a sleepover, happened upon it. She only briefly scanned a few pages before putting it down again as she heard Becca approach. She had always wanted to hear one.
"Yeah, it's not much but it really just reminded me of you at 16 when I found it again in my notebook." Becca smirked and leaned her cap-covered head back against the tree, looking at Freen. "Wanna hear it?" Becca's heart vibrated inside her chest at the question and Freen's possible answer. Would she feel rejected if Freen declined? Would she feel relief if she says no? Becca was scared that she would start baring too much of herself to Freen.
"Hell yeah I'd love to hear it." Freen smiled softly at Becca and Becca struggled to swallow, but she got herself together and started strumming her guitar. The sound was very much Vance Joy, mixed with a little soft touch of Jack Johnson. Becca started playing the notes and soon she was singing Freen her song as she sat and watched Becca, completely enraptured.
"It was just a moment:
Too short to uplift,
Too long to forget.
Too intense to shirk,
Too shallow to set
The scene for return visits."
"It was the moment
My heart cried out,
My heart let go.
My heart shed doubt,
My heart shed woe
And dared again to believe."
"And I only ever wanted
Something tangible
As not to feel so haunted
When you're not visible
...and not with me..."
"The moment was there,
But soon it fled.
Too soon the end,
Too soon bled red,
Too soon to mend
The wreck in dreadful wake."
"The wreck that's me
The wreck you made,
The wreck you see
The wreck will fade
From your memory."
"And I only ever wanted
Something tangible
As not to feel so haunted
When you're not visible
...and not with me..."
"When you're not visible...
...and not with me..."
Becca finished with a soft melodic strum and took a deep breath. Her eyes lifted to gaze at the clouds rolling past, not feeling like there was anything more to be shared from her side at the moment.
"That was... Wow, Becca... Why did you never play it for me?" Freen asked curiously, though she would imagine Becca had been embarrassed, judging by the content of the song. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Becca had feelings for her. Freen just didn't know how strong, or even if they still existed now.
"Becca... I'm really sorry for what happened in high school. I shouldn't have given up on you when I started dating Scott. It was so stupid." Freen tried her best at a sincere apology, but Becca didn't even move, never mind make a sound.
As Freen was about to ask the next question, they were interrupted as Heng pulled up with his sound blaring loud enough for the whole neighborhood. As usual he was wearing his best flirty slash cocky attitude as he was about to work up his ego before the gig. That's how he pulled through.
"Hellooooo ladies!" Heng grinned with his sunglasses on and jumped out of his car. He was dressed in typical popular band style, but wearing it like a glove.
Freen may have not had the opportunity to further converse with Becca in private, but she continued talking silently in her mind... 'I wish you had played it for me sooner. I wish we had a do-over... I wish...' She faltered as she felt the hairs on her skin raise up at her tumultuous emotions.
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
No Strings Attached
फैनफिक्शनBecca is the star vocalist of an up and coming band, until her lead guitarist quits. She needs a replacement, but she never expected someone from her past to come haunting her. With a relationship riding on a knife's edge, how will everyone be affec...
