𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 || 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐚

𝟏𝟔. | '𝐼 𝑁𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑌𝑜𝑢'

The tv was on, playing one of their favorite show, Gilmore Girls. Meredith and Zola were sitting on the sofa with a table in front of them on which were various leftovers of food ordered to take out for the evening. Today they had taken the time to spend another of their evenings, dedicating themselves more to rewatching tv shows and talking.

"Are you listening to me?" Meredith asked having noticed the girl quite focused on the episode.

"Yeah, sorry" Zola refocused on her mother, resuming her speech. "So, has he really done it?" she asked referring to what happened with Nick.

"Yes" Meredith reaffirmed.

"And you said no, right?" Zola asked looking at her mother. Meredith reflected, remembering the absurd answer she had given to Nick's equally absurd decision. God she felt so stupid.
She said nothing and just took one of the remaining slices of pizza.

"Don't tell me you said yes?!" her tone became more serious.

"No! Well... I said I needed to think..."

"What, why?" the confused girl asked.

"I don't know. By now I think to now nothing, Zozo..." Meredith admitted sadly. Zola reached out for her leg to caress it, then composed herself, standing towards her mother.

"And, uhm, what about Andrew?" Meredith looked up at her. She could have asked her what she meant, but that would have been a waste of time, because she knew very well where she was going. She continued to eat her slice of pizza waiting for Zola to say more. She didn't want to start tackling such a sensitive subject, especially now, but she knew she had to.

"I mean, he's back..." Zola tried to get Meredith to say something.

He was back. She knew perfectly. Ineffectual it's the only thing she knew. What they once were... and what they are now... is painful to say and to explain.

"He is" she repeated. She took a deep breath before continuing the sentence. "I had my big love, your father, and he died. It's been very difficult to me, but Andrew..." she put a small smile on her face as she remembered how happy they were together. "He's been my everything. He's the one who woke me up and pulled me out of a well that I thought was endless. With him I loved again and I felt loved, I felt emotions that I thought I couldn't feel again..." Zola nodded to every word Meredith uttered, managing to feel all the nostalgia.

"I'm pretty sure that a part of me fell in love with Nick, I felt good with him. Good. But it's difficult for me to feel that happiness again. Andrew has done anything just to make me smile or laugh, I mean, he went to jail for me! And honestly I still can't believe it. He'll always be one of the most important people to me and I miss him, I want him with me again, I-" she threw herself with her back against the sofa before admitting what she was about to say. "I fucking love him..." she would feel like crying or screaming. Saying it out loud felt so much better, it was just all she needed.

"You do" Zola said with a smile. "You lost another person you loved, you suffered and needed someone to make you feel safe. All that love you felt for him never went away, you just projected it onto someone you thought was worthy, but he didn't and that hurt you more" Meredith smiled sadly, hearing her say that made everything so real and difficult.

"Mom, you deserve better" she looked into her eyes, Meredith put her hand over the girl's, stroking it softly and giving her a more sincere smile.

"My Zozo" she reached out her arms to hug her tightly. "When did you become so wise?" she asked her curious laughing.

"I think it's living with you" the two finished embracing, recomposing and returning to focus on the tv.

"Damn, we lost the whole episode!"

Meredith's pov

I didn't sleep a wink last night, but that's nothing new. In short, yesterday evening was quite intense, so I assume it affected my sleep a lot.

As usual I find myself walking down the hospital corridor with Amelia and Maggie, discussing things too deep to deal with for the morning. I smile at Maggie noticing her belly more and more evident.

"How are you?" she asks me certainly not referring to my health or anything else. Hard to say but apparently my life seems to revolve only around Nick. Because he's the one people refer to when they talk to me. Either him or else for work.

"I'm okay about it" I simply reply.

"Have you thought?" I can clearly hear from the tone that Amelia is still teasing me for the answer I gave. Well I'm glad she laughs while I try to survive in this situation.

"Maybe Nick has still need me, especially with his daughter-"

"The one who really needs you it's me, Mer" I freeze as soon as I hear Andrew's voice interrupting me. God is some kind of stalker, he is always everywhere.

Amelia and Maggie seem to understand the situation immediately, so they go away together, leaving us alone. As we are close to the stair landing I decide to head there to be more secluded, I didn't even need to warn him, it's like I have a magnet as he follows me everywhere.

"Andrew, I-" I try to finish the speech, but it's useless because he interrupts me again.

"I needed you five years ago, I still need you now and I will need you" his way always strikes me. I have in front of me the same stubborn boy in love as five years ago. I could continue my speech and stop him from getting anywhere, but a big part of me wants to hear him.

"I love you Meredith Grey. I've been loving you all this time and I won't stop" he leans closer to me and his eyes meet mine. I could stand there staring at him for hours.

"Nick doesn't deserve a minute from you, he hurt you and now he just wants to manipulate you according to his standards. You don't deserve this" the distance between us becomes more and more minimal, I close my eyes when I feel his breathing.

"Stay here, please. Stay with me" his hand crosses my hair, stroking it gently. "I need you" he continues.

All those enclosed emotions explode in an instant capturing every part of my body as he softly places his lips against mine. In that kiss neither of us reflects anymore, we both go back to being the ones of that night on the hospital's roof. Without realizing it, my back leans against the wall, while Andrew keeps kissing me, holding me closer. I just wish it could last forever.

A/n: thanks again to everyone who is loving this story as I do, I know, this chap 😫❤️