The Unseen Reflection {A Gaara Fanfiction}

Chapter 1

The door opened and I quickly stood up without acknowledging my head ache from waking up too quickly, it was always this way every morning, but it seems like they are taking turns on whom should call me out in the morning.

But this morning, is in my favor. Not every guy in this place likes me, most just simply despises me or would just shrug me off. But he wouldn't do none of those things.

"Good morning." He said calmly before opening the door wider.

"Good morning, how is the day outside?" I asked as I walked closer to the door.

"Cloudy, but with a hint of sun." He smiled.

I nodded a 'thank you' and walked past him to the outside of my door. I never knew his name but I could sometimes recall people calling him Deidara, he would sometimes flinch a bit when I call him that.

"We would like to discuss something with you after breakfast." Deidara spoke out as he followed behind me.

I nodded but then I furrowed my eyebrows, "After breakfast?"

The thing is, these guys usually put me in the room before breakfast, but why are they letting me have breakfast before this mission set-up?

"Yes, this would be a quite tough mission, we would like for you to gain some strength before we put you in." I could hear Deidara spoke behind me.

I didn't reply to the sign that I have already understood the new information I just received. Since, here is better off not talking too much.

I walked towards the dining room, I wouldn't call it a dining room, but it was said so near the entrance. Maybe it was one of the guys who wrote it down with a spray can, however they are boys.

Deidara gave me some food before I could seat down, even though the others would just tell me where it is so I can pick some myself.

"You don't have to do all this." I smiled as I raised my fork to grab some of the food in front of me.

Deidara just shook his head, "You put up so much effort, our missions has become a lot easier with you, it is my pleasure."

I started to chew my food so I couldn't answer him with a polite sentence, so instead I just ate, even though the food is not as good as whenever the shark boy brought back some ramen, I would not complain at all.

There was pure silence in the kitchen else than Deidara watching me like a hawk and the sound of myself eating.

"How was your sleep?" Deidara cracked the silence as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"It was enjoyable." I said as I took another food in my mouth.

"You don't look like you enjoyed it." He said as he shrugged his shoulders.

I chuckled low, "Well, when you stop enjoying things a long time ago..." I paused, "not enjoying things sounds so enjoyable."

Deidara just shook his head and smiled, almost like the smile that haunts me every night as I slept.

"Any nightmares?" He asked, quite the time to I might add.

I pretended to be eating to not answer it, remembering those dreams just make me more and more uneasy and not to mention, unfocused.

I kept silent as I ate, not answering Deidara, in fact, I can't even answer to anyone, I tried telling them once about the dream, and they all tried all these jutsu on me and none actually worked.

I wonder why.

Deidara noticed my silence so he walked closer to my seat and patted me on my shoulder, "Well?"

I shook, I wasn't used to people touching me and he sure know it, it was one of their ways to get to me, just by touching my shoulder, neck or my hands. But none tried to touch my hand after I accidentally made one of them pass out when I fought back.

I answered in a raspy voice, "Once or twice now and then."

Deidara moved his arms as he groaned, "You know, you really have to start telling us about these nightmares, we can help you, you know?"

I shook my head as I finished eating, "I do not mind."

Deidara seemed to be taken aback from the statement, but he didn't say anything as he just walked around the room and stopped on the other side of the table.

"Listen....." He said as he trailed off, "These dreams they are--"

"Dangerous." I said cold shouldered, "I know. Remember the last time you tried removing them? I was unstable for weeks."

"Then learn not to be unstable, you should have learnt how to control things more easily!" He seemed pissed but I couldn't fight him, but a part of me wanted to and a part of me is quite scared of him.

I sighed, and leaned back on my chair, and yet Deidara shot me a look so I had to go back to sitting up straight.

"Who is it this time?" He asked.

"Sorry?"

"Who's in your nightmares?"

I gulped, and I thought of lying, even though lying would be a bad idea, the guys reminded me whenever there are thoughts of not telling the truth or uneasy feelings, I must report immediately before the monthly checks. But, what if I lied? How would they know? Are they able to access my dreams? Dreams aren't exactly memories, wait, are they?

I opened my mouth just to close it again, somehow signaling my uncertainty in speaking, "I.." I paused, "Don't think.. Uhm-I.."

Deidara walked closer, "Is there something wrong? Did you not hear what I just said?"

I stared at him my mouth agape, not forming words because something is wrong, I want to lie to him.

"I repeat myself, WHO IS IN IT?" His tone is much more demanding, like he was shouting.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I'm trying to recall the nightmare, can you stop it?" I didn't raise my voice, but I think he was offended by that, "I apologize, I didn't mean--I just, wanted to remember it more clearly and specific before telling you."

Deidara's eyes went from anger to adjustment, he somehow understood, "I understand, but is it the red headed boy again?"

I was taken aback by the question, I remember the last time they tried something to remove him and yet he appeared again a couple of weeks later, I couldn't tell him about the boy again, it would make me look like I failed.

So I looked up to Deidara from under my eyes, "Do you mean, that puppet master that goes around with shark boy?"

Deidara let out a chuckle, somehow finding it interesting, "No, the other one."

"Are there other ones?" I asked innocently, I don't want them knowing that I remember the other one, it hurts too much when they let you forget.

Deidara stared at me for a minute and took a step closer to where I sat, "Nevermind." He sighed.

I nodded, "It must be hard for all of you to keep on checking on me." I tried changing the subject, away from the topic we were previously talking about.

Deidara raised one of his eyebrows, but no wonders came out of his mouth.

"I am sorry, did I offend you?"

Deidara just shook his head and continued to stare at me, but when I returned the stare he flinched and looked away.

"Is there something in your mind you would like to speak out to me?" I could feel something, did he fear me? was it something else? Is he afraid of me or for me?

"Nothing." He stood up still and gestured me to follow him, "Come on, it's time to start the day."

---------------------------------------

A/N: this story starts in Naruto Shippuden before Shukaku was extracted from Gaara, and it will continue away from there, possibly until Gaara Hiden.