The Tales of the Dragon Warrior

What Kind of Fuckery is This?

Jade screamed loudly as she felt herself plummet towards the earth. She had no idea how she had gotten up so high or how she was even still alive, but she knew at the rate and height she was falling she wouldn't be for long. She clutched her backpack like a lifeline, screaming curses to the heavens.

"OH GOD OH FUCK WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCK!", the panicking girl shouted, her eyes screwed shut. She just barely opened her eyes, and let out a loud screech of fear when she saw how close she was to the ground.

"AHHHHHHHHH!", she yelled. Then she hit the ground. Only, she wasn't dead, it didn't hurt as much as she expected, and she was still conscious. Jade laid there for a few moments, and when she realized she wasn't dead, she got up onto her knees with a groan and rubbed her head.

"Ah motherfucker... What the hell happened?", the black and white haired girl mumbled. Jade blinked open her eyes, and was left gaping when she saw where she was.

She was in the middle of some sort of courtyard, surrounded by beautiful Chinese architecture and people in traditional Chinese clothing. The air smelt like fireworks and incense. Drummers were on every side of the courtyard, behind the main crowd. Jade was about to ask someone what cult shit she had fallen into, only to realize everyone was staring at her. Jade scowled.

"What the fuck are you people- ", she started to growl, but then she looked in front of her and saw a finger pointing at her face. Jade blinked in confusion, then gave the finger a dry look.

"What the fuck are you pointing at?", she asked, then she looked up at the person the finger was attached to. It was an old man; no wait, not old, fucking ancient would be more accurate. He wore green and yellow monk robes, had a forked wooden staff, and for some reason Jade thought he looked like a turtle.

"How interesting... ", the old man's wizened voice whispered in a tone resembling awe. Jade looked him up and down like he was an ugly piece of furniture.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?", she asked rudely, but the man just gave her a grandfatherly smile. It was a genuine one, and it made Jade feel all fuzzy inside.

The old man was looking at her in pleasant surprise, not the shock or offense she was expecting. It threw her off. Jade looked around to see if he was pointing at something else, then looked behind her. She saw five young men looking at her in apprehension, all in combative stances. Jade avoided eye contact with them and looked back at the old man, a sheepish smile on her face. If the guys behind her were willing to beat the crap out of her over this, she might as well at least pretend she had manners to avoid that outcome.

"Oh, my bad, you're pointing at one of them. I'll just uh-I'll just get out of your way.", Jade said as she grabbed her backpack and stood up, about to dash off into the crowd with as much shame as she could pretend to have. But the finger followed her as she stood up. One of the men behind her, the one with orange hair, looked at the old man in confusion.

"Master, are-are you pointing at me?", he asked in a confused but hopeful voice. Jade made a face and was about to say 'what kind of kinky shit- ', but was cut off by the old man answering carrot top's question.

"Her.", he answered. Jade began to feel signaled out, because as far as she was aware, she was the only 'her' in the general vicinity.

"Who?", she asked in confusion. The old man gave her a pleased smile.

"You.", he answered. Jade could feel the eyes on her. She started looking for an escape route, hoping this was all some big misunderstanding, but she took one step to the side and the finger followed her again. She returned to her former position, and the finger still followed her.