The Tales of the Dragon Warrior

The Hickey of Doom (Ironically Not a Naruto Reference, Despite all the Others)

(The image at the top is Tianyu)

Laohu looked around at everyone, arms and legs crossed and an extremely unhappy look on his face. He and the rest of the Furious Five had been dragged up to the Sacred Peach Tree by the Dragon Warrior, who had forced them all to sit in a circle under the tree. Laohu found the whole situation utterly ridiculous, but wouldn't say anything about it due to his Master's request. Shifu wanted him to get to know the Dragon Warrior, and so he would... even if he found the whole process tedious.

Jade grinned at the five warriors before her. Now that she had a moment to focus on them, she could easily tell who was who. The one in all the orange with the bo staff was Monkey, the one with the dark green hair was Mantis, the one with the hat was obviously Crane, the one with the lilies in his hair was Viper, and carrot top was Tigress.

'Though, I wonder why Tigress and Viper are guys... ', Jade thought, but she shrugged it off. She was in Kung fu Panda, except with everyone being human and she was also the Dragon Warrior. The gender of two ex-characters was the least of her problems. Noticing everyone either looked very angry (Tigress) or very confused (literally everyone else), Jade stood up and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention.

"Okay! So, as you probably all know, Tai-lung has escaped and he's out for blood. Specifically mine and probably yours by association. This is obviously a very bad thing, because I'm assuming you all like living. Me not so much, but I digress.", the green eyed girl started to say. Everyone, even Laohu, looked at her in bewilderment and concern at the last bit of her announcement, but Jade didn't notice and continued, her face suddenly much more serious.

"We're all good at fighting, each with our own styles and techniques, but against Tai-lung that's only half the fight. If we want to defeat him with minimal casualties and destruction, we need to be coordinated. We need to work together.", Jade explained. Laohu glared up at her.

"If that's true then why are we just sitting here? We should be training until our knuckles bleed to prepare for his arrival, not sitting in a circle and- !", the angry young man criticized, only to be cut off by Jade walking up to him and placing a finger on his lips to hush him.

"I'm gonna stop you right there, boo. On the contrary, this is exactly what we should be doing. I can't expect to go into battle with all of you, against such a strong opponent, and win without knowing anything about you. Sure I can know all your attacks and techniques, but like I said that's only half the fight. We can't be yelling out plans in the middle of battle, bickering over who should have done what or petty grievances. We need to be totally in sync, and to do that we need to be friends.", Jade told Laohu wisely. The orange haired man was about to sass her, but then he realized what he was able to see with the girl bending over him.

Jade was only wearing black yoga pants and a black sports bra, and Laohu could see down her top. The usually unmovable young man was completely frozen and flustered by the sight before him, even after Jade stood up straight and started smiling at everyone again.

"Now, as much as I would like to scream My Little Pony got everything wrong and friendship is NOT magic for the funnies, I would be a hypocrite, because friendship is important. If we're friends, we'll know how to bolster each other's strengths, make up for each other's weaknesses, and it'll just make everything we do more enjoyable altogether. So here's what we're gonna do; we're gonna go in a circle and introduce ourselves Naruto style, and then we'll decide what to do from there.", Jade said. Male Viper raised his hand and spoke.

"Introduce ourselves how exactly?", he asked in a soft, confused voice. Jade smiled at him blankly.

'This bitch really just asked how to introduce himself like he's Sakura. But it's okay, I'll let it slide because that was a weird explanation. And because he's hot as hell.', the black and white haired girl thought as she gave the light green haired man a soft smile, causing him to blush.