Peaceful Forever [Book 2]

Chapter 4

Heavy chapter. Read TW in comments here

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-Amily's POV-

It's been two weeks since I arrived home. Annie and I made up and she hasn't asked about the capital again. She spends most of her time with Trent.

The rest of the victors are back to their old habits of keeping me busy. They're trying to keep my mind off the fact that I have to go back to the capital in two weeks. Anchor still checks my wrists, but he's allowed me access to the kitchen knives again so I can cook my own food.

Finnick and I have become a lot closer since my victory tour. It helps to have someone who knows what you're going through. Neither of us talk about our jobs, but we've developed a fun habit of playing truth or dare while we sit on the beach every evening.

"Ok truth or dare?" Finnick asks.
"Truth," you reply.
"Ok honest opinion about Trent," he laughs.
"Um he's fine," you say. "He takes up a lot of Annie's time but I'm glad she's happy."

Finnick hums at your response, deeming it an acceptable answer.

"Ok truth or dare?" you ask him.
"Truth," he states.
"Have you ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend?" you ask him.

"Nope," he responds. "I've liked plenty of girls, but never the ones who like me back. I've never been interested in guys so definitely no boyfriends."

Your game continues for awhile until you both get bored of truths and switch to playing "dare or dare".

"Ok!" Finnick exclaims, still trying to get sand out of his hair after you made him do a beached whale impression. "I dare you to dunk your head in the ocean."

Tensing up at the dare, you get up to do it anyways. You don't know why you're still scared of the water but you trust Finnick not to make you do anything dangerous.

Wading in slowly, you let the water reach your knees. You forgot how strong the waves are so you have to pause to catch your balance. You continue until the water is up to your waist and then finally stop to dunk your head in.

Submerging yourself before the next wave could hit, your mind quickly goes into shock and you start panicking. Your brain flashes back to the arena and you flail in the water, desperately trying to find a tree to grab onto.

Getting dizzy, you feel your body starting to go limp before a hand grabs you and yanks you out of the water.

Finnick, who is carrying you, is muttering apologies as he sets you down on the dry land. You roll onto your side and cough out the water in your lungs, before puking out the water you swallowed.

"Shit I'm so sorry Ams," you hear Finnick say. "That was so stupid of me. I forgot about how you don't swim anymore. Shit I'm sorry."

You can hear how frantic his voice is and you grab his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. You weren't mad at him, you were mad at yourself for thinking you could go into the water and be fine.

Anchor comes running down to the beach and helps Finnick carry you back to your house, your body now shivering from the frigid February weather. Anchor brings you to your downstairs bathroom while Finnick grabs some fresh clothes from your room.

The boys leave you to change and you can hear Anchor chewing Finnick out over letting you go in the water. Exiting the bathroom, you decide you're too nauseous for dinner and head to bed.

Two weeks later, I went back to the capital. Finnick wasn't with me on this trip but Johanna should arrive late Thursday for her weekend shifts. Dimitry and Porchia prepped me for my clients and I was on my way later that same night.

It was now Friday and I was having lunch with Johanna. This week had been brutal but my client Wednesday introduced me to the wonderful substance that is morphling. I loved it so much I asked for some as payment instead of cash and she eagerly obliged. My client last night also supplied me with some. I had my stash hidden at the bottom of my bag so nobody would find it. Who knows how badly they'd flip out if they knew.

"How are you holding up?" Johanna asks as we sit down to eat.
"I'm ok," I mutter. "It's been a long week but I get to leave tomorrow."

Jo and I proceeded to laugh about all the stupid things our clients told us. One of my clients thought fish were just birds that lived in water and one of Jo's clients thought Johanna should get butt implants.

After lunch, we parted ways to prepare ourselves for the night's activities. I injected myself with a little bit of morphling before leaving so the night wouldn't be as painful.

It's been 2 months since I started using morphling and this shit is euphoric. It makes me numb and life manageable. Annie practically lives at Trent's place now so she hasn't noticed. The other victors are oblivious and just think I'm feeling better. I know I shouldn't inject tonight, with it being Anchor's birthday, but I can't help it. I need it to function.

"Hey boys!" I yell as I enter Anchor's house. We are having dinner with all the victors before Finnick, Anchor, and I get drunk tonight. Annie and Trent might show up but probably won't as they tend to flake on plans.

"Hey Ams, glad to see you!" Finnick grins as he gives me a hug.

"I'm glad to see you too Finn," you smile. Your morphling usage has made you more affectionate and Finnick didn't seem to mind.

You greet the other victors and sit down to a wonderful meal. Mimi is an amazing cook, and your group never leaves any leftovers. You eat cake and give Anchor his presents before the older victors pack up and head home.

Getting out the bottles, Anchor plops down on the couch next to Finnick and starts pouring glasses.

A few drinks in and you are feeling way more drunk than you normally would. Maybe it was a bad idea to drink with the morphling and your regular meds in your system. Finnick and Anchor were trying to catch up with you but neither of them were lightweights.

"Ok Ank hor..." you slur. "Twoth or drrrr."
"Truth," he states.
"What did youuuuu pewt in the bwatle? It's wayyyy stronggeeee."

Anchor seemed a bit alarmed by this question.
"Amily you've been drinking water for the last hour," Anchor states. "There's no way you are that drunk."

You stand up, nearly falling over.
"Immm note drnk," you slur. "Immm Ams Amileee!"

Finnick seems to find your antics funny but Anchor stands to catch you, extremely worried at this point as you fall over.

"Amily," he says, setting you down. "You need to go to bed. You can sleep in the downstairs bedroom here if you want."

You reluctantly nod and Anchor carries you to the bathroom so you can get ready for bed.

A few minutes after you fall into the bed in Anchor's guest room, a very giggly and drunk Finnick enters and plops down on the bed.

"Imm stayying too," he slurred. You scooted over and he climbed in bed next to you.

Hours later you woke up to a pounding headache. It was still dark out and it couldn't be later than 3am. Realizing you had to pee, you slipped out from under Finnick's arm to go to the bathroom. When did Finnick get here? 

"Don't leave..." he muttered, still clearly half asleep.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you yawn, grabbing your bag. "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Why are you taking your things?" he mumbled. "You're leeeeaving me."

"No I'm not," you huff. "I need to change my tampon. Me and my tampon bag will be back in five minutes."

He muttered an ok and you went to the bathroom down the hall. You weren't on your period, but you desperately needed some more morphling in your system to combat your headache. Finnick didn't need to know there were no tampons in your bag.

Your headache was instantly gone but you were really dizzy as you made your way back to the bed where Finnick was fast asleep. You had injected yourself with way more morphling in the past 24 hours than you had ever before, but you needed it. You barely even remember hitting the pillow before-

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AN: Our girl Amily is going through it. Please note that I don't condone substance abuse! Be safe <3