I Remember You.

Chapter 18 - Unexpected Confidante.

Lorelei Anderson...

My decision to stay where Kevin and I shared our kiss was going against what the man in question requested of me but the idea of mingling with other people, the thought of having to smile and pretend that my entire life hadn't just been upended was not a thought that I wanted to entertain. At least not yet.

I can still feel the ghost of his arms banded around me, the hungry sweep of his lips, the ownership of his tongue, the scent of him swirled around me like a spectre of temptation that teased pleasure and acceptance that was just out of reach.

Tears kept tumbling from my eyes without effort. I couldn't get them to stop, no matter what I tried.

I told myself that Kevin was a bastard. Yet, I knew that wasn't the truth.

I told myself that he was playing games. But I knew that was a lie. The man was clearly as confused as I was.

I told myself that I hated him. And I think that was the biggest lie I have ever told myself; I have tried to hate him. I have tried to tell myself I don't need him, but I do. I need him like I need my very next breath and I honestly don't understand what is going on. I am drowning in this attraction and now that I know he feels this pull, I feel even more hopeless because if I know one thing about Kevin - it was that he was an extremely honourable man.

And that meant, it wouldn't matter if he was attracted to me. Hell, I would be able to stand in front of him naked and because of his loyalty to my dad and his daughter, he would turn away from me. That was partly why I loved him as much as I did.

Now, Jensen was sitting next to me, calling me out for lying and honestly, I am so tired, so utterly exhausted from keeping this secret to myself that I can feel the words crawling up my wind-pipe - getting ready to fall into the dead silence between the two of us.

Some might say it would be reckless to pour my heart out to the man who was dedicated to my best friend who happens to be the daughter of the man I am in love with, but here is the thing - I have always trusted Jensen; I don't know why exactly, but I have just had this gut feeling that I could trust him. The man is solid and dependable, he will keep this secret if I ask him, I am as sure of that as I am of my feelings for my best friend's dad.

"If I tell you something, can you promise to keep it just between us?" I asked him.

I can see why my friend is attracted to him - he is classically handsome with the most vivid green eyes I have ever witnessed on anyone. At present he was sporting a light dusting of facial hair that made him more ruggedly handsome. For me though, there was no one but Kevin on my radar and even if it wasn't Kevin, I would never go near him due to the fact that my best friend is completely and utterly in love with the man. I would never come between that, and I wouldn't try even if I thought something could happen.

For as besotted as Draven is with Jensen, the feeling is most definitely reciprocated in kind. The man was devoted to my best friend, and I couldn't ask for more for her.

I just need to unload this to someone. Is it fair that it is Jensen? No. I guess it isn't but this whole situation is not fair, it's like a cancer eating me from the inside and I just need someone to share the weight of it with me. If Jensen says no, I don't know what I will do.

"Normally I would say no way, to keeping secrets from Dray, but I can see you need this sweetheart, so go ahead and tell me and I promise that it will go no further than us," he offered and the rush of relief and gratitude that I feel towards him is palpable. And can I just say that when he called me sweetheart, there was no flutter in my stomach, no overwhelming sense of needing to throw myself at him the way I do when Kevin calls me sweetheart.