𝐀𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

Why Good Girls Turn Bad

I've been a pleasant girl from the beginning—
Fragile, never trying to hurt anybody,
And once I thought I was mature
Because of all the love inside my heart.

I possessed no envy at all,
Always treating others the way I want to be treated.

I finally got a reward for my being good.
I went in search of life,
And Love found me.

Love adored me
And I did the same with all my heart.

I repaid the world for giving me such Love
By being kinder, nicer, more loving to all,
But the very ones I was loving to,
That I was kind and nice to,
That I would smile at and help out,
That I would bend over backwards and fold myself in half for,
Those very people
Hate me,
Envy me,
And are trying to take Love from me.

Stupid, very stupid little me thought,
"Try to see what they're going through"
"Repay their hate with kindness"
But I saw that
The more love I gave,
The more I suffered inside.
The more I tried to make them happy,
The lonelier I felt.
The more I trusted them,
The more it hurt when they left me like they always did.
They pretended to like me
But they'd killed me 25 times behind me.

And then I realized
Some people aren't meant to be loved,
When they have only repaid my love with hatred.
Some people aren't meant to be trusted,
When they have broken my trust repeatedly.
Some people aren't meant to be cared for,
When they do not care for me at all.

I didn't come to this world with any of them,
I'm not responsible for how they turn out.
If they are truly misunderstood,
Life will bring them someone that understands.

I'm tired of being nice,
Tired of understanding,
Tired of making excuses for people.
They never did such for me,
And were always quick to assume the worst of me.

Do they believe they're the only ones with problems?
There is no excuse for trying to take happiness away from another.
It'll never fill their need.
They will always be empty and dead inside.
What they see as the solution to their problem,
Is the very cause of it all.

Not everyone has a kind heart,
As a matter of fact, very few people do.
Some people are made of evil, possessed by evil,
And do not deserve my love.

I will not become like them,
But I know that
When I stop giving them any drink
From the unconditional, ever-flowing river of love inside my heart,
They will believe that
I am at fault.
They'll never understand that
They're the very reason why a good girl has turned bad,
And that they have probably lost the only person
Who has ever loved them wholeheartedly,
And who will ever do so again.

I can only thank them for teaching me that
The real golden rule is,
"Treat others the way they treat you"
And that true maturity comes
When you realize that
The world is full of haters,
Naysayers,
And horrible people.

Sometimes it's not a matter of
To love or to hate,
It's really a matter of
Choosing myself or not.
I will never live for others again.
I will always love, cherish and choose myself,
Because in the end,
I only have myself.