Your Usual Tutorial Phase

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A/n: Having entrance exams tomorrow and instead of studying, I wrote this instead. Enjoy?

Summary: The Tarnished learns to do stuff and meets his neighbors.

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*CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP*

Danny: Ow... Fucking, ow.

Flat on the ground, Danny was contemplating mass genocide for all Grafted Scions.

???: Damn bro, you got your ass handed to ya, L + Ratio + Graceless + No maidens lmao.

Our boi Daniel lifts his head up to see who the hell was roasting his naked ass.

He looks up and sees a hooded figure and a horse with horns on its head.

Danny: What in the Chernobyl fuck...?

The hooded figure steps off their mount and crouches down.

???: Ever heard of Gamer Supps?

At that point, Danny was too weak to stay conscious and dies from cringe.


Later

After a good rest, kind of, Danny reawakens to find himself holding two tumblers that contained strange liquids called Dragonfruit punch and Blo'Hole Blast. The containers looked mildly weird themselves, the one that held Dragonfruit punch had an image of a hellhound Vtuber, and the other was a pic of Steven He?

Danny: Hm, these'll come in handy later.

He proceeded to take a look around, noticing a golden tree close by. There is also a ghost of someone sitting on a chair next to it. Neat.

Danny: 你好?

Ghost: >_< Omg, a Tarnished!

Danny: ._. Hi?

Ghost: So like, if ur brave or whatever, you should totes take the plunge, tehee~!

Danny: Uh huh...

Ghost: But only if ur like, wanting to learn and remember shits *giggles*

Danny: I'm just gonna...

Danny takes a deep breath and steps off the ledge, falling and landing on water.

Danny: Huh, I thought that'd kill me.

A short distance away, Danny sees the golden luster of... something? He decides to go to it.

Danny: What's this? Touch "Grass"?

A popup granting Danny the knowledge about grass appears, semi-blinding Danny.

Danny: Ah, so this is how my "Return by Grace" ability works.

He touches the Grass and gets blinded again.

LOST GRASS DISCOVERED

Danny: Motherfu-!!!


More Later

After checking his inventory, finding out about his Golden Seed's use, and checking all his stats, Danny sees that he could allocate his Gamer Supps anytime he needs more mana or hp. As well as the ability to store things into a pocket dimension called a 'Chest' and memorizing spells.

He uses his keepsake and adds a charge to his flasks.

Danny: Okay so those do that, and this does this but I don't even have that yet so I can't even do this fucking thing yet. 

Getting up, Danny sneezes a bit because the cave is seriously dusty.

Walking forward, Danny discovers a foe. Or at least he thought he did.

Undead Noble: Salutations! You must be the new Tarnished everyone has been talking about! 

Danny: *Uncrouches* Okay one, how the hell did you see me, and two, why has every mob I've encountered so far been nice to me?

Undead Noble: Oh, I AM indeed a hostile mob, but does not mean we can't talk about it?

Danny: Nah, you're fodder and I need levels. 

He raised his club, menacingly.

Undead Noble: Oh cra-

+11 Memes (Runes)

Danny: Sorry kid, nothing personal.

And so, Danny massacred the kind Nobles and other "Hostiles" in the area, he once encountered a person with a shield, but using his caveman Unga Bunga strength, he landed a critical after staggering the poor lad.

Soldier: All.. I said was... Damn Daniel...*Dies from overexposure to Ligma*

+45 Memes (Runes)

Further exploring, our Neanderthal-esque Hero finds a small stake in the shape of an eerily familiar woman, and near it was...

Danny: A piss fog? This must be a boss area.

Danny doesn't hesitate and walks through, immediately his lower vision is graced by a health bar and a name.

SOL D. IER OF GO D. RICK

Danny: A bigger version of those other fellas? 

Racing towards Danny, Sol D. Ier held his massive Greatsword and charged unflinchingly.

Capitalizing on his superior speed, Danny runs around and dodges all the swings the larger man took, but it seemed he did not tire out. Danny swung back whenever Sol D. Ier missed and took the opportunity to stagger him, launching a critical attack. Danny eventually wins their duel with half health at the most. He takes a sip of his Gamer Supps Sinder flask.

Danny: Damn, holy shit that was intense, Sol D. Ier didn't fuck around.

Exploring even more, Danny finds himself back in the room he started.

Danny: Well, I guess the way out is actually this door.

He opens it, SLOWLY, and walks through finding stairs and eventually some more grass.

Beside that grass was a wall made up of fog or mist. Danny walks up to inspect it and took a sniff.

Danny: Why does it smell like a brand new Mitsubishi Montero Sport? 

(A/n - Dad got a new car.)

Our graceless loser stands before the grass site and ponders.

Danny: What if I close my eyes this time?

He closes his eyes and touches the grass. Worse decision ever.

Danny: IT'S EVEN FUCKIN' WORSE!!!!!


EVEN MORE Later

Standing on a platform button, somewhat blind now, Danny finds himself exiting the cave.

Danny: Finally! I'm free! *lifts gate up*

Danny: I'm finall-! AAGHHH! THE SUNNN!!!! *HISSS* *HISS*

Outer God: *Laughing hard* HAHAHA! Guys wait, wait. Watch this.

A bunch of outer gods were hysterically losing their minds viewing Danny's adventure through a mystical device called an "LGTv" and a resolution of imagery called "4K".

Danny: I'M GONNA COMMIT THE MOST TREASONABLE ACT IN THE WORLD IF I GET FUCKING BLINDED AGAI--!

LIMGRAVE

From that day forth, Danny swore he would defile, he would perform horrific acts, he would conjure the most heinous and hated beings, and lead those who have wronged him into eternal damnation of his very machination.


To be continued.

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 19, 2023 ⏰

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