Chapter Six: Boy Division

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He couldn't decide whether he was 'Gerard' or 'Party Poison'.

Mikey's 'Gee' had come out of nowhere. But other than nowhere, where would it come from? During the moment when the credits rolled, nobody knew anymore.

His hair was half nightmare black, half poison red.

His thoughts were half Gerard, half Party Poison.

The world was half high defined, half fuzzy.

"Gerard, are you okay?"

He reached out a hand. "No, no, no, I'm not, Frank, save me!"

He knew a single cry from him would save him from this splitting headache, the same way this simple calling of a name caused his self destruction.

"No, you're fine," Frank turned from him, his eyes glinting icy blue. He walked to Korse, and said a few words to him. And then they laughed.

They laughed.

He wanted to laugh to. Laugh at all the bullshit he landed himself into, laugh at how death was staring him in his face, laugh at how he could fucking see his casket with himself in it.

Tight, black, just made for him.

"Ge- Poison, am I ok?"

"Fuck yes, Frank, you're beautiful!" He gasped for breath as he shouted to the icy-blue eyed Frank standing just a few meters away from him.

"No I'm not," Frank smiled thinly. He wanted to go and reach him. But Frank backed away and let a group of draculoids flood past him. As they cleared into a circle around him, he could see them surrounding Frank and... And...

Frank was holding a thick rope in a hand, and there was a whole belt of knives strapped to his hips. Behind him were Ray and Mikey.

Dead.

And next to him, Korse. Smiling that gruesome smile that chilled him to his bone.

"Ready for your death?" Korse smiled at him, smiled at his bloody form, smiled at his helpless figure.

"I'm fucking waiting for it," he burst out. It came from nowhere, he'd tell himself afterwards, when he had to recount what happened.

Came from nowhere, just like Mikey's clear call of 'Gee'.

Nowhere.

"I'm sorry," came the icy blue eyed beauty. It's form flickered.

First it was Frank, and then it was Ray, his afro straightened with blood, his blood.

"No," he whimpered uselessly. This time Mikey's form flickered fuzzily in the Poison part of his brain. The Gerard part perceived this all too clearly. Mikey's scared face. His scruffy blonde hair hanging in his face.

Then it was her.

He could only stare. There was nothing he could do anymore.

Nothing.

Her black hair was dripping wet with sweat and tied in two low long pigtails, her short plaid skirt styled like a schoolgirl's.

"You're not dead, Party Poison. Gerard Way. Gee-boy," she whispered to him. "They just want you to think that."

Her form flickered. In Gerard's eyes, it was Korse. It had been Korse all this time, threatening him with his death.

In Party Poison's eyes, it was Mikey again, smiling encouragingly, just like everytime their mother told him he did well.

And then it was Ray, his fro bobbing as he nodded to him, just like everytime he would before those monotonous tests they still had in the blissful days before BL/ind.

Too soon, it was Frank. Frank with the wide, caring hazel eyes, Frank with the cute skeleton gloves, Frank with the hair in his eyes, Frank with the beautifulest smile he had ever seen.

"I'm not joking," his smile faded. "You need to do it." He stepped forward, closer. "You need to..."

He wanted to tell Frank to keep the smile, to tell Korse to get the freaking knife away from him, to tell them that he could do it, he would do it, if only Frank would fucking save him.

"Wake UP!!" They all screamed simultaneously.

***

He jostled awake in his bed, his hair still half poison red, half nightmare black.

The tiny figure sitting on a chair next to him also woke.

He stared at him with joyful hazel eyes and ran out the door, a tiny dog trailing at his feet.

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