One More Fight [EDITING]

11: ADELAIDE

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I want to believe Fletcher Ward has worked on himself since we broke up. After two years of seeing him on TV doing interviews, reality shows, talking about his fucking book, walking red carpets, and of course, following the movie deal he's suddenly got for it... I've watched him come across as the nation's sweetheart when he has a ton of demons making him the leader of hell. The truth about him is hidden until you dig deeper, and it hurts that the mysterious woman people ask about on TV and around the world is me, except it's all a lie.

But now it's like he's back to the old Fletch that I knew before the terror incident, except, of course, it happened and it scarred him, so he's that nice guy just painted and taunted with some deep-rooted shit that will never really heal.

The sad thing is, that might have been the biggest and most awful thing he experienced, but it's not the onlyhorrific thing he's experienced. I betrayed him in one of the worst ways, and now he's gone through this. They might not all tally in the biggest and worst things in the same way, but multiply them together and you're bound to get a massive number on the scale.

Now he wants to know about Sophia, and I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing. Is he taunting me, or does he actually care? He told me he loved me before I was marched back in here, but there's something more to it than that.

How the fuck can you love someone who cheated on you with your brother? How can you love someone who didn't tell you they're bisexual for years? I don't get him. We haven't seen each other for three years and he says he still loves me? How?

In a way, somehow, he must have never stopped loving me. We were so close, so in love. I thought I loathed him, and maybe I do, but as I look at him now, there's also something good towards him in there. I don't know if it's love; maybe... appreciation? I'm unsure.

But if he loves me, why did he write the book? If he loved me, he wouldn't have painted me to be the bad guy in everything, nor would he love me after what I did. Fuck, I don't love myself after everything I did. Maybe my hatred is more misdirected at him and it's me I loathe more than anything. But I definitely don't like what he did.

I take a deep breath. If anything, talking about Sophia is easy because she's the only thing in my life I haven't fucked up. "When I told Sophia about you, she was... freaked out, like... she was fangirling hard, but in shock it wasn't all true, you know?"

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Her brunette hair is done up in a messy bun as she stares at the photos on my phone. Her eyes then go to the tattered paperback of his book on the bookshelf.

"You told me and though I believed you, some part of me also just... didn't. But I can't believe this. We've been together three months now and I'm only just finding this out? This is my fucking favourite book, Ada. You're telling me the girl in this book is you? You cheated on him?" Sophia asks. Her perfectly crafted eyebrow is arched, a small smirk on her face.